Feeling Better...

All I can say is: I ADORE antibiotics! What on earth did they do 100 years ago??? There is nothing worse then having really sick children. It's so painful to watch their frail little bodies throwing up for days, running fevers and holy cow, breaking out in horrible rashes over their ENTIRE body! That was pretty crazy. Mr Tristin is doing much better and I am SO THANKFUL!!! After talking to my MIL whose a retired nurse,I'm going to keep him home 1 more day from school and see how he's doing then. He's still couging alot- but after that He will have taken antibiotice for 4 complete days. I kept Tristin, Grace & Willow home from church today because I HATE it when sick kids come to church! I think it's SOOO rude. Grace of course has a cough right now and I'm waiting to see if it turns into anything more- I hate the flu season!
One thing I did this morning was put hand sanitizer next to the door outside (hopefully it wont freeze!) that way they can get rid of a few nasty germs before coming inside to really wash their hands. ( My kids ADORE the nasty neighborhood cats and i want to vomit every time they touch them- so this will help, big time!!!)I used to have these hanging in all the bedrooms of the house, but when Grace was younger, she would pull them down and squirt 100 drops in hands & then lick it, rub it all over her body or just let it drop all over the carpet, so I had to put them away for awhile. I will be adding them back now!

Here are the kids making pizza for lunch.

Strep throat, Scarlet fever, shots & double ear infections...

The past few days have not been fun around here. There's been lots of fevers, vomiting, sore throats, coughs, green snot and unhappy kids- not to mention a tired Mama.
Tristin has been miserable for days now- the poor thing has had fevers, tons of vomiting, a sore throat and then yesterday he broke out in a rash that covered most of his body. It was pretty freaky, but I gave him alergy medicine thinking it might have been caused by the new laundry detergent- but by last night- it was awful. I was going to take him in to Quick care, but they were closed and I didn't think an ER visit was necessary because he had not been throwing up for awhile and his fever was only 99.9
I waited until this morning and got him in right away to his Dr. He tested positive for strep and Scarlette fever (an itchy, rough, sandpaper like rash that covers most of the body. It used to be super awful, but now is very treatable. It is only contagious if passed through salivia and enters the other person's mouth- so hopefuly we won't be catching that!) Strep & Scarlette fever are caused by the same bacteria, and treated with the same antibiotics! Good news! We picked up his medicine, bought popcycles and he is now being treated with rest and endless eposides of SpongeBob!

Willow recieved her 2nd flu shot while we were there and I had the Dr look in her ears- sure enough- she had another double ear infection! No wonder she was feeling so yucky these past days. Her cough, green snot and overall unpleastness finally had a reason! I talked to the Dr about tubes for her ears because it is so common and she's had A LOT of ear infections, but he was hopeful that by Feb. they would start declining- so nothing more was discussed. I just want her comfortable- she is such a sweet happy girl, I just hate knowing she's hurting if I can do something to help the situation.
So, here we go again with another 10 days of pink goopy stuff, and charts to keep track of each kid and their medicine feedings- of course that I am beyond grateful for! We are blessed to have Dr.'s and medicine, thank you Lord!

Little Willow...

Willow has been climbing into cabinets lately- it's so cute! She loves to hide in her toy box, the towel cabinet and here she was when I was organizing the books.. cute little thing!

My new Blog: Even The House Cleaner Needs A Maid!

I have wanted to share my cleaning obsession & organizing tips with you guys for awhile now- but most of you have already been to at least a dozen of my cleaning & organizing classes, so there hasn't been a need. Plus I didn't want my organizing posts to interfere with my family blog, so I just started another one! There I can post the projects I am working on, share my weekly goals, inspire you to declutter your homes, follow a Menu plan, tips for the day, while holding myself accountable too! Lets work on projects together!
go to:eventhehousecleanerneedsamaid.blogspot.com

When the pressure cooker attacks...

It was close to 3:00 PM yesterday and I thought I would organize the shed for a little while. It was sunny out so I took the girls out in the back yard to play while I worked on labeling the totes & boxes, and that's when it happened... the unfortunate event...

I wanted to see what was in one of my plastic totes (i'm redoing my labels)but it was buried by 2 other totes on top of it and then my food dehydrator and GINORMOUS, metal old-Gma pressure cooker. Not realizing it would cause a problem, I was lifting up on the end of the tote to peek inside so I would know what label to make. So, with my head tilted to the left, I continued to wiggle it a bit to pry open the end- and then out of nowhere I felt the worst pain hit my head, my jaw and my neck! The pressure cooker fell from 4 feet above me and crashed into my head and face! I was honestly dazed for a minute, fell to the ground holding my head crying. I cannot remember another time a 20 pound meatal object has fallen onto my face and it hurt SO BAD! It was crazy because my first thought was: I'm going to die, my brain is going to swell in my skull and I am going to die. My second thought was; What if I broke my jaw! And my third thoought was- my neck, the Chiropractor bills are going to be crazy!
The pain was awful and I took a few more minutes to gather myself and figure out what had just happened and then kicked the stupid pressure cooker to the side. I sat down still clutching my head & face and could feel the pressure under my skin spreading- I gathered the girls and went inside to take some Advil ASAP. I knew that little accident was going to leave a mark! My head and face was throbbing so I laid down with a box of veggies and whinced as the cold box sat on my face forever. By dinner time, my jaw felt like someone took a baseball bat to it, my head was already bruised and I could hardly open my mouth to eat. I couldn't chew on that side AT ALL and even the other side was almost impossible- HOW FRUSTRATING!! AND PAINFUL! Good greif! So now I have a brusised head and face, a jaw that feels broken and a neck that is really sore- talk about a super reward for wanting to organize the shed a little!
So, lesson learned: Don't put your ginormous pressure cooker 4 feet above your head and then try to look inside a plastic tote to see what's inside so you can make a cute new lable for the outside, while tilting your head to the left- Because it will fall on your face and you will think you are dying as your head and face swell and bruise!
I'm not sure if I want to can green beans next year now- I think I hate that stupid thing...

Confession...

I've been examining my life lately trying to see if my emptiness and sadness was based on anything I was doing or not doing in my life. And after looking inward for about 3 seconds, I pretty much concluded- yeah, it's been my fault.
I have every oppertunity for peace, wholeness and joy-right at my fingertips and what have I done to make it apart of my life lately? Nothing really.

I pulled out my scriptures last night to read, and they were covered in dust. Seriuosly. It is so sad to admit, but I'm being honset with myself so I will hold myself accountable for my feelings and where I am right now. I have such a gift in my life that has been collecting dust. People gave their lives and sacraficed everything they had for the scriptures- and mine have been under my bed just sitting there. How can I expect God to fill me when I am making zero effort? How can I expect to receive blessings when I am running the other direction? My lack of happiness has been based on my choices to let God in my life and heal me or not. No wonder i don't feel him anymore- I've been running from him for so long that he just had to stop and wait for me to return.

And what about prayer? I hardly ever kneel and pray by myself. I am fantastic about praying in my head, my heart, out loud- often to the point I God is sick of hearing my voice- but kneeling- nope.

When was the last time I went to the temple? A really long time ago. It's the only place on earth I have felt such love and peace and I cannot recall even the month I attended last.

The sad truth is- I make time for everything else in my life- The Office, couponing, friends, organizing & cleaning, but the most important gifts Heavenly Father has given me have laid unopened for a very long time. How sad he must feel. How would we feel if we had the most beautiful present for a loved one and after giving it to them it just sat on their table unopened? i know I would feel hurt, and probably angry at them for being so rude to not even care enough to look inside.
It isn't that I've been doing anything terribly wrong or bad in my life, I just haven't been doing anything terribly right either. I've just been coasting, just trying to stay above water. But I want more. I want peace. I want to feel God's love. I want to shine and radiate like I used to. I want to feel so much joy in my life that it brings me to tears. I want to be fullfilled.

As I was reading in the scriptures this morning I read:But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquites;the chastisement of our peace was upon him ; and with his stripes we are healed. (Mosiah 14:5)

All I could do was cry. And then pray. And then ask for forgivness. I need my Heavenly Father. I need Christ in my life- and when I put all my craziness aside, I realize that they have been right there just waiting for me to return to their arms.

When Grace cuts her hair...

I found a chunck of hair half way under the couch the other night and went straight to Grace to question her. Sure enough, she confessed. It was a good chunck, and I could have left it alone, but decided to cut it short and try to blend it in a little. She has such wild hair anyway, so no matter what we do, it always looks a little crazy (except for braids and pony's which are super duper short right now!)I thought she could use a haircut and hopefully it will be ok.

Our amazing Tristin...

It is wonderful to watch the kids grow up and turn into their own little people. Tristin loves to invent things- here's the proof:

Sunday morning I was getting ready for church when I heard the kids totally excited about something. I looked out the door and found thatTristin had made a zipline from the hall closet to the front door and was sliding a silver star all the way down it! It was actually quite amazing!


Last week he wanted to "invent" something- so the next thing I knew, he was out in the recycling bin, then in his room and then creating a marble drop! Hopefully his brillance will make him some money one day!

I just love my little man. He is growing up so much and finding his place in this world. He is such a wonderful brother and helper most of the time. He ADORES reading right now and nothing gladdens my heart more then to walk in his room and see him with his nose in a book! It's delightful.

Daisy goes to a party...

Remind me to never go to Pojo's on a Saturday night ever again! Crazy! It was full of people and I was going a bit nuts, but the kids had fun. Daisy was invited to a friend's birthday party so we let the kids have a few tokens and they had a blast for 2 hours!

*** Nursing Post- Beware...

Just a little reminder that my blog has turned into my personal journal, so I write things down purely for me to refrence back to in a few months when I have completely forgoten! I realize that no one reading cares or even wants to read about me nursing, but I'm writing it down for me. With that being said, I am almost 100% done nursing!!! Like I've posted 100 times before, I have NEVER had this problem, I normally have the tiniest milk supply so I've never gone this long in all my life! I was just happy to nurse my babies for a few months!
I knew it was time to be done, which we were close to anyway- she was only eating twice a day- at nap time & bedtime, but boy did she want her milk! It was a huge struggle the first week but we survived! I went an entire week without nursing, but then felt like I had a clogged duct on one side, so we had to take care of that. A few days later- the same thing on the opposite side, same story. It had been close to 2 weeks on that side so I was proud of myself. I didn't know if I had to suffer through it or just let her drink to relieve it. I knew I was almost on "empty" anyway, so I didn't stress about it, I just felt bad for confusing the poor girl! Anyway- I think we are almost done. It's been 2 weeks and she's only "taken the edge off" twice, so does that count??? I say so.

*** Sorry for that, I just had to document it. I never intended other people to read about my boring life, so if you do, you'll have to skip most of my posts or just deal with my ramblings!

I'm trying...

I have REALLY been trying this past week to get better in the kitchen- making "real" dinner that is. I have made dinner for the past week using ALL NEW RECIPES!! I know, I can't believe it either! And better yet, I've survived! I've been praying like crazy to have the desire and to begin to enjoy it and so far it's been alright. I even tried a recipe that one of my favorite checkers at Albertson's gave me, that same night!
So, with that being said, I failed horribly with these potatoes. I know, they look like death, but I tried. I even stopped myself twice at the store when I was tempted to just buy the frozen hasbrowns even though I had a bag of potatoes at home. If you can believe it- I resisted, and tried to make them myself with my slicer thing- but they did not turn out- so, from now on, I will be buying frozen hashbrowns!

Hesitant...

I have been hesitant to write my goals out because honestly, I don't want there to be another thing on my list that I feel like I have to do or accomplish. I am so tired and worn out right now and just the thought of thinking about my goals exhausted me more than I can express. The truth is, I'm setting goals 100 times a day, writing them down and then am frantically trying to get them all done in 5 minutes. I'm awake at 4:45 AM almost every morning and I'm already tackling everything for the day. The laundry is going, the shower is done, the house is picked up, my blog is updated, my bags are by the door, dinner is planned, my list is out and when I look at the clock it's only 6:20AM.
My wish is that I could learn how to slow down a little. To stop feeling like I have failed if it isn't all done by the time the kids wake up. I wish I wouldn't pack so much in in a day, because the truth is- I don't feel that much different if I do get it all done. Sure, there is a satisfied high that lasts a few seconds- but that amazing feeling I'm trying to acheive never comes. It never comes because that isn't the reward. The peace I'm trying to acheive doesn't come from getting it all done- it comes from being close to Heavenly Father so I can feel his love and feel that peace. No wonder I don't feel it. I haven't sat down long enough to do anything, let alone to feel his love for me. I just keep doing,going, accomplishing, running and staying busy that I don't make time for him in my life. I push him away because I'm so angry at myself, so disappointed and so frustrated that I'm not further along in my recovery- that I don't feel I'm deserving of his presence, or his love, or his peace. I just never feel like I'm enough.
There is something in me that won't stop pushing, won't stop nagging and I am so disappointed with myself because I continue to feel I have something to prove- and it's just to myself. In my head I think that if I get it all done, then I'm ok. That it will cancel everything out and I will magacially feel better inside. I keep thinking that I will be enough then. It's no wonder that I don't make my bed very often- my goal is just to climb back in as early as possible. I am sad that I still haven't learned that my self worth shouldn't be wrapped around what I accomplish in a day- but for 100 million reasons, it is. I can't keep up with myself anymore. I can't win, and I know it- so why can't I stop?
I know that part of it is just life. We all feel it as women, as mother's and as wives- and that is ok. I accept that part. I wanted that part my entire life. I dreamed of children, a house, laudry, and dihes. It's the other part that has been so damaging that I wish I could free myself from.
So, for my goals this year, I went pretty easy: #1- to cook # 2- to slow down my pace. # 3- make my bed every morning because I can't sleep it away # 4- to play with my babies more # 5- to make Trav and his needs a priority # 6- to take care of myself.# 7- to stop setting so many goals.
Each and everyone of us are worthy of his love.

Happy Birthday to me!!!

When Trav got a 2nd computer for the kids a few months ago, I thought it was excessive, to say the least. (Granted he got it from a friend for $ 20.00, so I was happy it didn't break the bank!) Everyone was already obsessed and on the computer WAY too much, so adding another one did not delight me... until I realized how I could benifit from it. It meant that I didn't have to share my computer as much and there would be less whinning and complaining when I actually wanted to be on for a few minutes- but my most favorite part in the entire world meant that: WE COULD GET ANOTHER PRINTER FOR MY COUPONS!!!! I could print 4 of each one now and I wouldn't have to drive over to my Father-in-laws house and spend an hour trying to print 2 coupons on his SUPER OLD one! It was horribly frustrating. (The cool part is that he got a new one for Christmas which prints in seconds and Ellen has her computer over there too which prints. So 4 sets for me!Yeah!!!!!!)
Anyway, we went to Walmart and picked up the cheap $29.00 printer and that night I ran back to Albertson's to grab more FREE food for the 100th time with my coupons from my new printer! I love my birthday present!!!

Crazy smiles...

Did anyone else get a TON of oranges from Winco's Grand Opening? Well we did, so we've been eating them like crazy! Here we are with our silly smiles. Amazing what makes kids happy!

Our 1st fire of the Winter...

Silly to blog about I know, but the other night we had our first fire this year. We were hesitant because Willow is still so little and we were sure she would try to climb in, but it turned out fine. The kids loved crumpling up all the newspaper and watching it burn. It felt so nice to sit by it eeven if it only lasted 20 minutes. Good try kids!

It has begun.

Tristin has received the "Gator Award" at school several times each year and part of the reward was picking 2 people to come to school and eat lunch with him. The girls and I always packed our lunches and skipped off to school so excited to be with him... until yesterday.

I guess I was wrong in assuming we would be the 'chosen ones." because when I dropped him off yesterday morning- I said, "I'll see you at lunch time." And then came the sad, sad words... "Oh Mom, I picked Liam & Ms Hansen instead."

All of a sudden my heart broke and I said, "But Tristin, we've been talking about it all week, you never mentioned that you wanted other people. Grace will be sad too, I've been planning on it all week."
He said, "Mom, are you mad at me?" and in my hurt voice I said, "No, I'm not mad, my feelings are just hurt."
All of a sudden, Jenny McCarthy's voice came into my mind from the previous day on Oprah when she was talking about women being manipulative, and it hit me- I was trying to get my way and it was really about what Tristin wanted! Stop it Emily!!!
I swallowed my pride and said, "Buddy, who do you want at the table?" and he said" Liam & Ms Hansen." And I said "Ok, have a good day. I love you."

Although I drove away in tears, I realized that it was about what he wanted, it was his choice and I had to realize that for the rest of our lives, this was going to happen.
He apoligized when he came home and we talked about it for a few minutes. I told him, "Lets just agree to talk about things next time so we both know what to expect, I'm not mad at all, I'm glad you had a fun lunch." He then said, "I'll invite you next time Mom."
I joked to Trav that I'm not the cool Mom anymore, but putting that aside, I love to see him make choices and stick to his guns when he wants something. Looking back it was great to see him standing up for his decision even when he thought it would hurt my feelings. It was just a neat moment that seriously made me cry.

Birthday dinner with the girls...

Last night my friends and I went to Red Robin for my birthday and we had the best time! It was so wonderful to be around incredible women, eat way too much food, open fabulous presents, enjoy a few hours without the kids, talk, cry and be uplifted by one another. It was just what I needed- thank you amazing friends for loving me and for the 100 pounds of junk food I received (and the other super awesome presents!)

Miss Annikan...

I just had to take a few minutes to say thank you to one of my best friends- my dear sweet Annikan. I love her so much and I appriciate her friendship in my life. I love our Target runs, our Sonic splurges, organizing closets together, years worth of having yard sales together, how funny she is, her dedication to getting out of debt, her self control, her amazing love for her family, her cute garage door, always being there for me, her pop addictions, brining me Panda Express in the hospital after giving birth, how she is ALWAYS there at every party or get together- cleaning up & helping me, how she always listens and offers advice, her super cute quilt abilities, our "brick house" shopping trip,how she knows when I'm "off" and offers to cheer me up, her sweater fettish, how she gives it her all, how she tries so hard not to swear, how she supports her husband, loves her friends and is simply amazing all the time.
Annikan- thank you for this past week. I love you so much and I thank Heavenly Father everyday we are friends. You have truely been a blessing in my life.
Now lets start painting!!!

Noodle Bath!!!

All day long all I heard was, "Mom, can we take our noodle bath yet?"
Well, finally the blessed event was upon us and we had a blast. We played, we laughed and we made a huge mess. What a great day!

More fun...

The Noodle Bath...

Once again, I apoligize for the swim suit shots, believe me, these lingering 100 pounds were the last thing I wanted to share with all of you, trust me!
It was another successful noodle bath tonight as we all hopped in and squished noodles between our toes and shoved handfuls down our bathing suits. the kids were laughing, noodles were flying and I was just trying to keep the cleavage covered! We definatly didn't put as many packs in this year. My guess is only 30 this time (no seasoning!). Regaurdless of the mess Trav is now cleaning up, it was fun and worth it. My favorite part is finding dried ramen noodles all over the house for the next week!

Singing Happy Birthday...

Trav bought a yummy birthday cake, and it took awhile to assemble 31 candles on it, but I think we got it!

Dinner at Goodwood...

If I were to die tomorrow, my last meal would be at Goodwood. I completely adore their Club sandwich. It is beautiful, ginormous and the best thing in the world- which is why we had to go tonight! It was heaven. The kids loved their ribs too!

31 things you should know about me...

In honor of my old age today, I thought I would share 31 "amazing" things about myself, in no paticuliar order:
(Yes, today is my 31st birthday!)

1- I have an INTENSE, I mean GINORMOUS fear of cliffs &/or roads with no railings. My fear is actually somewhat paralizing. I will have panic attacks while on road trips- it's honestly awful. In my mind I see us driving off the edge and dying. Nothing calms it either- I just shake, cry and hyperventilate.
2- I was nominated most unique in High School (but darn it, the other girl won!)
3- I am insainly OBSESSED with The Office.
4-I have repeating dreams that my teeth are falling/crumbling out of my mouth.
5-I have never broken a bone.
6- I am not a Facebook girl, sorry!
7- I have over 2500 emails to look through & delete right now.
8- I average 4-5 hours of sleep a night.
9- I ADORE motorcycles.Especially rides with my Dad. Just not when I'm 7 months pregnant!! (let's not do that again!)
10- I think the orchard is a magical place.
11- I wouldn't survive without yard sales.
12- I am addicted to chapstick. (If I was on a deserted island- that would be my 1 item.)
13- I ADORE super HOT baths. The kind that make you a little dizzy afterwards and you have to lay down just to recover. They are the best.
14-I have a sweating problem. End of subject.
15-I used to think texting was pointless.
16-Sadly, I do not have a savings account.
17-I have had migrains since I was 12 & still do.
18-I still collect starburst wrappers for my chain that I started when I was 16.
19- Sugar makes everything better.
20- I HATE change.
21-I order the same exact thing off the menu at every resturant. I never switch.
22- One day I want to publish my Rosco the Talking Giraffe stories. (I wrote them when I was in 6th grade. I always wanted my brother Jesse to illistrate. P.S *I don't think I've ever told him that.)
23- I have over 30 journals.
24- I don't wear nail polish on my fingers because I think it clashes with the color of the ring I wear on my right hand.
25- My favorite stores are: Target, Costco, Old Navy & ANY craft/fabric store.
26- I still have a crush on Michael Bolton (Leave me alone! I have loved him ever since I was a little girl. I saw him in concert with my Mom when I was 5 months pregnant with Daisy. I thought for sure he would scoop me up and take me with him.)
27- I don't sing in front of many people. It stems from my best friends wanting to hear me sing in Jr, High. I was too embarressed and I still am.
28- I do not enjoy cooking, although I pray to have the desire.
29- I LOVE 8:00 PM bedtime.
30- I'm not big into snuggling.Especially when I'm about to fall asleep, I need my space.
31- I am VERY claustrophobic. I always have to sit on an end.


There you have it. 31 life changing things about me!

My amazing Trav... (No it isn't our anniversary. He's just amazing!)

It's crazy to think that Trav And I have been together 12 years now! Weren't we just in college making out behind the trees getting sap in my hair and on my favorite coat? And now we have a mini van, a house and 4 beautiful kids to share it with! CRAZY!

When I look back to when Trav and I met this time 12 years ago, apart of me is so sad. It was an awful time in my life and it should have been the greatest. I just arrived at school (Rexburg) and I had the rest of my life in front of me. I wasn't looking to get married, I was just trying to figure out a way to survive each day. It was the darkest time in my life. Trav just returned from his Mission from Brazil and was ready to start his life too. Trav knew right away that I was a keeper and although I wasn't ready for marriage, I knew he was amazing. He was so gentle. So accepting. So skinny and cute. Willing to give me piggy back rides, walk me home at night, watch me paint rocks in my apartment, talk about art, play catch, anything. He wasn't judgemental. He didn't tell me to change my clothes, take off my rings or throw my boots away. He just accepted me. All of me. All my craziness. He had no idea who or what he was falling in love with and I tried to warn him- but the silly man didn't listen very well. The next year in May, we were married in the Salt Lake temple. He waited for me to pull myself together, to get healthier, to get happier and I couldn't thank him more. There was a time when I thought I might have lost him. I didn't know if he could handle or accept all of me-but days later, there he was, proving that he wasn't going to leave, that he loved me enough to stay and that we would make it through. 12 years later- he's still here. Still holding me. Still loving me. Still wiping the tears away and still wanting to make out every 5 minutes. I love Travis with all my heart. He is my sweet, calm water and I know I would have drifted away years ago without him in my life. He was made all my days brighter, every moment better and years filled with amazing memories. He is the greatest husband and an amazing father. Our children are so lucky and they don't even know it. They have no idea that their Papa is rare in this world. I just shake my head when it's past 8:00 PM and he's STILL reading them bedtime stories. I actually get upset with him, can you believe that? I get mad at him for doing nice things, that's how wonderful he is!

I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for showing me that even in the darkest moments in my life,no matter how unworthy I felt at the time- incredible, beautiful things could come from and out of them. My Trav is proof of that. I never imagined I would find such a gift, but I'm so blessed because I did.

Ice Cream party...

After our walk, the library, a shopping trip & pizza for dinner, we came home, climbed in our Pj's and had an icecream party!! the kids were so excited and had to use thier "fake money" to buy all the stuff they needed for it. It was kind of hard to hold everything and get pictures, sorry. They had a great time and it was so easy to do. Just turn an ordinary event into something special by taking a few extra minutes to make it different. They loved it.

A Saturday walk...

Yesterday we went for another walk, but went to the kids school instead. They had a great time playing on the play ground, but it was freezing. The the wind was terrible, so we went home, loaded in the van and went to the library until they closed.