Sunday, January 9, 2011

My amazing Trav... (No it isn't our anniversary. He's just amazing!)

It's crazy to think that Trav And I have been together 12 years now! Weren't we just in college making out behind the trees getting sap in my hair and on my favorite coat? And now we have a mini van, a house and 4 beautiful kids to share it with! CRAZY!

When I look back to when Trav and I met this time 12 years ago, apart of me is so sad. It was an awful time in my life and it should have been the greatest. I just arrived at school (Rexburg) and I had the rest of my life in front of me. I wasn't looking to get married, I was just trying to figure out a way to survive each day. It was the darkest time in my life. Trav just returned from his Mission from Brazil and was ready to start his life too. Trav knew right away that I was a keeper and although I wasn't ready for marriage, I knew he was amazing. He was so gentle. So accepting. So skinny and cute. Willing to give me piggy back rides, walk me home at night, watch me paint rocks in my apartment, talk about art, play catch, anything. He wasn't judgemental. He didn't tell me to change my clothes, take off my rings or throw my boots away. He just accepted me. All of me. All my craziness. He had no idea who or what he was falling in love with and I tried to warn him- but the silly man didn't listen very well. The next year in May, we were married in the Salt Lake temple. He waited for me to pull myself together, to get healthier, to get happier and I couldn't thank him more. There was a time when I thought I might have lost him. I didn't know if he could handle or accept all of me-but days later, there he was, proving that he wasn't going to leave, that he loved me enough to stay and that we would make it through. 12 years later- he's still here. Still holding me. Still loving me. Still wiping the tears away and still wanting to make out every 5 minutes. I love Travis with all my heart. He is my sweet, calm water and I know I would have drifted away years ago without him in my life. He was made all my days brighter, every moment better and years filled with amazing memories. He is the greatest husband and an amazing father. Our children are so lucky and they don't even know it. They have no idea that their Papa is rare in this world. I just shake my head when it's past 8:00 PM and he's STILL reading them bedtime stories. I actually get upset with him, can you believe that? I get mad at him for doing nice things, that's how wonderful he is!

I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for showing me that even in the darkest moments in my life,no matter how unworthy I felt at the time- incredible, beautiful things could come from and out of them. My Trav is proof of that. I never imagined I would find such a gift, but I'm so blessed because I did.

Ice Cream party...

After our walk, the library, a shopping trip & pizza for dinner, we came home, climbed in our Pj's and had an icecream party!! the kids were so excited and had to use thier "fake money" to buy all the stuff they needed for it. It was kind of hard to hold everything and get pictures, sorry. They had a great time and it was so easy to do. Just turn an ordinary event into something special by taking a few extra minutes to make it different. They loved it.

A Saturday walk...

Yesterday we went for another walk, but went to the kids school instead. They had a great time playing on the play ground, but it was freezing. The the wind was terrible, so we went home, loaded in the van and went to the library until they closed.

Searching for pinecones...

Friday morning I got the older kids off to school, came home and did 100 things and was worn out in a few hours. I just wanted to go back to bed and drift away for awhile- but looking at the clock and only seeing 11:00- I knew I was dreaming. I was exausted, depressed and feeling unhappy about my Mothering talents, so I blurted out: "Grace, lets go for a walk!" My beautiful 4 year old ran to her room and was dressed in about .3 seconds. She ran out and said, "I'm ready Mom, can we look for pinecones too?" You betcha. We bundled up, hopped in the wagon and walked to the park. It was a beautiful morning and the sun was perfect. We walked and gathered her treasures and then walked some more. It felt so good to be moving! And jogging! And breathing in cold air! And to hear my babies laughing at the vibrating wagon under their bums! It was heaven for a hour and we even took the Christmas lights down when we pulled up to the house. It reminded me that no matter how I'm feeling, I have 4 children whose futures depend on what we do in that day. The influence we have over them is ginormous. At bed time when I asked Grace what her favorite part of the day was, she said- "Our walk Mommy."