Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Last week when I was feeding Willow, I was standing in the kitchen with my bare feet. As I was standing in a place I had stood hundreds of times before, I thought, what is that? I ran my foot back and forth over the raised mound with this insain look on my face, asking myself, has it been here the whole time and I'm just now noticing it? No. I thought. I have washed this floor on my hands and knees for 2 1/2 years- I know every dent, cut and imperfection, this was definatly NOT there before. I went on feeding Willow and then onto my other 100 chores that comes with having 4 kids, until I noticed another mound in front of the dishwasher. I stopped and said, "what is going on? It can't be the dishwasher. It just can't. So the next night when Trav commented on the crazy floor, I said, " I know. I was going to tell you. I'm glad I'm not going crazy!" (because apart of me questioned my sanity, imagine that!)So, with a parent/teacher confrence meeting to be to in 20 minutes, Trav moved the dishwasher to discover what no home owner wants to find: water damage! So, to make a long story longer, I went into panic mode calling everyone and anyone who I thought could help us. I went out on the porch and almost started crying. I can't take anything else right now, I thought. After drowning in self pity for 3 minutes, I got up, dusted myself off and went back inside to be a Mom and wife. I told myself, Em, there are people dying. There are families waiting for military members to come home, there are missing children every where and familes losing their minds over it, there are people starving right here in the US and other countries, there are people without homes, food, clothing, cars, family, friends or help of any kind. There are Mother's losing babies, fathers losing jobs and a world that is falling apart- and you are really whining over a ruined kitchen? So with life in perspective, I cleaned up dinner, hand washed a billion dishes, put Pj's on kids, brushed teeth, said prayes and kissed my beautiful babies goodnight. As I got ready for the night, I just shook my head and thought, but I can't change what is happening around the world. I can't make it stop. I can't make it any better, and darn it, this isn't what I wanted. I just wanted everything to be ok and now it isn't. And now there is water everywhere, and who knows if there is mold. Are we safe? Will the kids be affected? How much will this cost? We don't have the money. Do I really have to hand wash all these dishes? And boil water to do it in? (Those poor, amazing pioneer women!) So the next day, my friend Lisa said, "Em, call your insurance company!" Which I did and then by Friday, things started to get rolling. Chris came out to look at the damage. Our adjuster came out yesterday and then the guys were here until 8:30 last night removing a part of the floor, cabinets & counter tops. We have a fan on it for 3-5 days and then we will go from there. It just boils down to being HUGE-LY inconvient. So, while people are dying around the world, I am complaining that they tore up our cute red cabnits that Trav and I worked SOOO hard on, I don't have running water, my cute floor is going away, there's a huge hole in my floor and wall, we don't have a dishwasher,I have to wash our dishes in the bath tub now, our kitchen contents are now covering my couch, and who knows how long this entire process will take! I'm just frustrated!!! (But yes, eventually we will get a new floor that isn't soaked in water, I'll hopefully get my black & white checkerd vinyl back, I'll get new cabinets and counter tops and life will be perfect again!) Thanks for letting me vent, I'm just struggling with everything out of order!!!!
Posted by Emily at 9:02 AM
So, I'll admit it... I have a type A personality. I like things clean. I like order. I have to have things organized. I do not do well with change. I panic over the unknown. I have 100 different lists. I don't do well with toys on the floor. I color code my clothing. I adore the vaccuum lines in the carpet as much as my Grandfather. I am a planner, and I plan about 2-3 months out depending on the event. I worry about everything. I stress about everything.Things have to be perfect or close to it. I would die without my hand sanitizer. I don't want to share my water bottle with anyone, but would if we were dying in the desert. I can't sit and relax. I have to be doing something, helping someone or cleaning something. I hate dishes in the sink. I hate sticky hand prints on my walls. I like to know what to expect. I rarely try anything if I know I will fail at it. I like things to be predictable. I have huge anxiety over being late and I don't do well when diswashers leak for 2 1/2 weeks without telling me!
So, there is my confession. That's the real, not very nice person that I am.
Here are the last photos of my kitchen before they started tearing it apart.
Posted by Emily at 8:38 AM
We had Chelsea's baby shower on Saturday and it was great! She had tons of friends and family there who spoiled her with adorable clothes, toys and baby stuff. Everything turned out wonderful and I was almost brought to tears as I stood back and watched her finally having her moment. I cannot even count the baby showers she has attended, the hospital visits she has made, the home visits after friends brought their babies home, the meals she has taken familes and the showers she has thrown, all while trying to hide her pain and sadness over the years. I cry now, because I adore this girl. She's like a sister to me and it has killed me to watch Shane and her struggle for so many years to have a family. I think of Shane as a brother who I want to protect and sheild from pain, so the joy I feel now as they prepare for their twins, is undescrible. I am beyond thrilled. I am like that over bearing Mother who wants to know every detail, everything that happened at the Dr. appointment, every kick and movement... I just love these two and know they will win the most amazing parents award (we'll see how they do at being on time though!!! Just kidding. Actually, no, I'm being seroius!) I didn't take any pictures at the shower, so here's a tiny peek at some of her decorations. (Christy is on the left and about to have her little guy in 8 days or less, good luck hot Mama!!!!)
Posted by Emily at 8:15 AM
One of my best friends, Audra, was in town last week and she and her 4 beautiful kids stoped by for the afternoon. It was WONDERFUL to sit and talk for hours and just watch the kids play together. It was great to catch up, to see how the kids had grown in such a short time, to laugh and just relax. Audra is such an amazing, talented, loving, sweet, thoughtful & giving person and I miss her like crazy everyday. I am grateful for our memories of painting bedrooms, having yard sales, going thrift store shopping, hanging out until 2:00 in the morning, our road trip to Seattle, pulling each other up a hundred times when we were falling apart,eating chocolate chip cookies, helping her wash her downstairs floor (one of us would spray, the other would mop- it was A LOT of floor)having Daisy's 1st birthday party at her house, trusting her with my babies, finding cute green polka dot blankets with her after Christmas (Which we both still have), visiting her 100 different houses, laughing, crying, helping and relying on each other for so long and on and on... I am gratful for our years of friendship and for having a safe place to turn when I need to. I love you Audra and I think of you everytime I turn on my kitchen light, wear the temple dress you gave me and wrap Willow in her adorable blanket. Thank you for being my wonderful friend over the years, I miss you sweet girl...
Posted by Emily at 7:42 AM