Yesterday I was out painting a dresser when Trav called me from work. I thought it was kind of strange because he normally never calls in the middle of the day, only after work or on his way home from the gym. I put my paintbrush down as he started to talk.
He said that a different Supervisor came up to him, asked if he was Travis, told him to log off his computer, go home and wait for his supervisor to call him.
My world started spinning and Tristin said, "Mom, what's wrong? Who are you talking to?
After we talked and we hung up, I went into panic mode and called my Mom to process it all. I started crying and told her, "Mom, I can't handle this right now." There's so much more at stake now. Our house. Four kids. The reality of finding a job.
I've cried. I've prayed. I've gone through every senerio possible in my mind and I'm scared to death now. I'm just asking for a few prayers in our direction. We are still waiting for his phone call, and I am so fearful.
In my selfish, pleading prayers I've just asked God, that no matter what happens, just help us to be okay. We pay our tithing, we help everyone we can, so I know he will watch over us if it is our turn, it's just terrible not knowing right now.
I learned a few years back that having faith in the Lord is a very, very difficult for me to do. It means turning it over to Him, letting go of the control, and trusting in someone other than myself. SO HARD! But with practice, and with my Mama's voice in my ear, I hear her say:
"Emmy, you've done all you can do. Turn it over to the Lord now."
If you don't mind, just pray.
Thank You.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
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