Thursday, January 13, 2011

It has begun.

Tristin has received the "Gator Award" at school several times each year and part of the reward was picking 2 people to come to school and eat lunch with him. The girls and I always packed our lunches and skipped off to school so excited to be with him... until yesterday.

I guess I was wrong in assuming we would be the 'chosen ones." because when I dropped him off yesterday morning- I said, "I'll see you at lunch time." And then came the sad, sad words... "Oh Mom, I picked Liam & Ms Hansen instead."

All of a sudden my heart broke and I said, "But Tristin, we've been talking about it all week, you never mentioned that you wanted other people. Grace will be sad too, I've been planning on it all week."
He said, "Mom, are you mad at me?" and in my hurt voice I said, "No, I'm not mad, my feelings are just hurt."
All of a sudden, Jenny McCarthy's voice came into my mind from the previous day on Oprah when she was talking about women being manipulative, and it hit me- I was trying to get my way and it was really about what Tristin wanted! Stop it Emily!!!
I swallowed my pride and said, "Buddy, who do you want at the table?" and he said" Liam & Ms Hansen." And I said "Ok, have a good day. I love you."

Although I drove away in tears, I realized that it was about what he wanted, it was his choice and I had to realize that for the rest of our lives, this was going to happen.
He apoligized when he came home and we talked about it for a few minutes. I told him, "Lets just agree to talk about things next time so we both know what to expect, I'm not mad at all, I'm glad you had a fun lunch." He then said, "I'll invite you next time Mom."
I joked to Trav that I'm not the cool Mom anymore, but putting that aside, I love to see him make choices and stick to his guns when he wants something. Looking back it was great to see him standing up for his decision even when he thought it would hurt my feelings. It was just a neat moment that seriously made me cry.


Dean Family said...

that is a hard time in our lives, but i'm glad you let him decide - it's hard being mom sometimes. love ya!

Missy08 said...

That would be hard, but thing like this come when we least expect it with our kids.