I tried a new recipe!

I was on a site yesterday that had an amazing looking recipe. It was for her pepperoni rolls. We made them yesterday for lunch and we ate the whole pan! She also made taco bites that I'll have to try soon! (gunnysack.com) I was proud for trying something new even if it only called for a few items! (I didn't include oregano, parm cheese, garlic salt and brushed egg for the top)

Free stuff the past week...

I have not been keeping track of my savings this year like I have years past- but I noticed that each year I was averaging a savings of about $10,000 so when I got pregnant, and no longer cared about anything, I pretty much stopped taking pictures and calculating. This week was fun though for free stuff. Last week I got 3 Albertson's orange juices, 2 pastas, 2 Pepsi's, 2 donuts, 2 Scotch tapes, 4 color crayons and 3 gallons of milk! Yeah for free! Today I picked up 4 toothpastes & 10 carefree panty liners for free with round ups(I got other stuff too for cheap, just not free. Speghetti sauce, butter, gummy bears, marshmallows) There were a bunch of items that were gone by the time I got there and a few items that were good deals, but I was already stocked up on.

1month old!

Yesterday Roman turned 1 month old! Crazy huh? I can't believe it either. He had his check up yesterday where we discovered he really loves his milk. He is already 11 lbs 5 oz! So far he is still a great baby and only cries when he's hungry or having a diaper change. We love him to pieces and still can't get over the red hair! ( The picture was taken several days ago)

Bath time...

Roman actually really enjoys the bath- but apparently not in one of the pictures.

Sleeping Beauty...

I thought Willow looked so cute the other day taking her nap!

5 AM ramblings...

The past few months I've realized a lot. #1- I've had no energy, which means my kids brains have rotted from too much TV and computer time. It's been so hot that the outside activities have lasted only minutes and I've been too tired or nursing a baby to care or get up and shut it off. I love technology and hate it at the same time. # 2- the adjustment to 5 kids in the Summer time has been good for me. It's been overwhemling at times to juggle the postpartum tears, the diaper bag, nursing, shopping with all of them, trying to entertain them all, meet everyone's needs, keep the house clean and wash the bottomless pit of laundry- but we have at least survived! It's been good, just mostly me I think. Why don't these hormones just exit the body with the baby? Why do they linger and mess you up a little more? # 3- School starts in 1 week and apart of me is really sad while the other part takes a deep breath and embraces what is to come. I love being with my kids, I love the time with them and I know once they go back- the influence of others will creep in a little more and the less time I have being their Mom. There is a part that loves getting back on schedule and having that predictable routine too. I'm excited for Grace to start Kindergarten as well. She has been ready to go for years now,and I'm sure like Daisy, will end up being the teacher's helper when it comes to helping the kids in the class. It will be nice to have more time with Willow and Roman as well. Grace will be gone every other day, so having just 2 kids a few times a week should feel like a walk in the park! # 4- I need to get myself together. As a woman. As a mom- everything. I haven't even read Tristin's scout book yet and he's been a Weablo for 3 months now. I have no clue what he should be doing, I can't remember meetings to save my life and I feel disconnected because I haven't taken the time. And why do I have zero desire to get myself ready for the day? Why does showering and doing my hair and makeup make me want to cry even more? It's SOOO exhausting! Why do I dread it so much? And weight loss. When I should be losing it- all I want to do is keep eating, like for a 100 people this time. I know I should care more about myself, but I don't and apart of me is saddened by that- while the other part stopped caring a long time ago. And my dear Grace. I am really struggling to be a good Mother to her right now. I just don't know how to be what she needs. I don't know how to keep from losing my temper, it's just a huge challenge right now. And pretty much always has been, but for some reason, right now feels worse. I want a better relationship with her and I feel like I'm failing every second of the day. I have held her more times lately after a big fight- and just rocked her crying and pleading with God to forgive me for spanking or yelling or both. I want to be better. I want to be calmer and I don't know how to win with her. That may be the problem though- maybe I'm spending so much time focusing on "winning" that I'm not figuring out how to connect or find what works for her. It's hard looking at yourself and realizing that you are not as super as you thought, that you are not so patient anymore and maybe lying to yourself has served no one after all

Roman's board...

I finally finished Roman's board above the crib. I was waiting for inspiration throughout my pregnancy, but apparently nothing came because this is what I ended up slapping together a few weeks ago. I normally NEVER procrastinate, but I did with this one (mostly because I was waiting for Trav to put things on the back for me to hang it with)

The girls...

I guess the girls got a hold of my camera because I just found these!

The washer...

Yesterday I was sitting at the comnputer when I heard the washer make a really weird sound. Tristin came running up to me and said, "Mom, something is burning!" I jumped up and rounded the corner of the hallway to see smoke everywhere in the back half of the house. The house was filling up with smoke, the detectors went off and I found the smoke coming from the washer of all things. I quickly unplugged it, opened up all the windows and silently said a prayer of thanks for my babies being ok, and then a second prayer of: I really don't want to deal with this today- could you please just zap a new washer in my house today? Pretty please? After a day of phone calls, text messages, visits to look at washers, picking up the truck from my in laws, picking up a dollie from Annikan's husband's work, finding a washer, going to the bank, driving over to pick up the "winner", loading it with an old man, driving it home, unloading it with my neighbor, cleaning out from underneath the old one, putting the new one in, hooking it up, testing it, loading up the old one, driving to the dump, fighing with the straps to get it undone, trying to push it off the back of the truck by myself but having the wheel thing get stuck, waiting for a man to help me, driving home with all the kids and then collapsing for .5 seconds before nursing a screaming newborn- I WAS TIRED, but very thankful! My load of clothes that I washed by hand in the tub was as "pioneer" as I wanted to get. I know people lived without them for a billion years, but with a newborn that poops, pees, spits up and has breast milk flying everywhere, I really wanted a washer ASAP! It was not what I wanted to spend my time and money on, but wringing out towels in the tub just about killed my wrists so it was worth every penny. I pray she is a good one and will last awhile! Thank you for washing machines!