Pregnancy vent session...

Lets be honest, after yesterday's marathon of a day where I thought I could get up and going at 3:45 AM and conquor the world- I realized this old 32 year old pregnant body that weighs 300 pounds more- does not like being in motion that long. I literally crashed last night. It was one of those nights I knew the kids were up until 9:30 watching a movie, but I didn't even care. I was almost asleep and way too tired to get up and get them ready for bed. I just couldn't move. I was cemented in my bed exhausted. (Trav was out recharging the bug because our darling Willow played with my buttons and left my lights on!)

I've realized I hate pregnancy more than anything, and besides knowing there is a cute baby growing- there is nothing fun about this. I'm not sad that this will be our last child, (although knowing when Willow grows out of something, I will no longer see that item again- pulled at my heart a little yesterday. And realizing if I buy anything boy- it will only be worn a few minutes and then will quickly retire for no brothers to be passed down too, kinda made me sad as well)
I've realized my body is worn out already from carrying babies. It wants to be done with this "magical" part of life. It's endured 7 pregnancies and it's closing it's doors in awhile, and I'm okay with that.

I'm used to running all day long. I get 50,000 things done before noon- but lately, by 1:00- this old thing shuts down and forget about acomplishing anything else for a long, long time. Seriuosly, what is wrong with me? Where did the energy go? I hate going 30 miles a hour- when I'm used to 100. I'm a speeder, I move, I get things done- but not these days, and I'm getting really upset about it too.

I'm trying to embrace this stage in my life with a happy attitude, with a more grateful heart and a cheerful outlook- but let's face it- I'm not doing so hot.

I thank the Lord a million times for the ease in which we get pregnant, the ability to carry my babies and the chance to raise them and be their Mom. I know how many people struggle, so I don't mean to seem heartless, I just wonder why the Lord designed it this way- that's all!

Now, being the Mom part, is way better than the being pregnant part. You get to see cute 2 year old bums run down the hall way laughing all the way as you chase them, and listen to your 7 year old girl transform into a drama filled teenager right before your eyes and watch your almost 10 year old boy make dirt bombs and kill off an entire fleat of bad guys and stand amazed as your 5 year old runs the computer better than you do- it's the best and I love it!

Every once in awhile I stop and realize what I've been blessed with and my heart swells a million times in size. I just stand with tears falling down my face as I watch my babies all growing at different speeds and thank my Heavenly Father for what I was born to be- their Mom. I've gone in their room at night so often lately just to watch them sleeping and I can't explain it. I stood rubbing Tristin's forehead the other night when he woke up. He said, "mom, are you okay?" (He was probably startled as to why I was standing there in the dark like a freaky person touching his head) but it was just one of those Mom moments where love was overflowing and I had to be near him. I had to see him and I had to look at how grown up he had become. I was just overwhemled, and I constantly am. In good ways and bad ways. In ways I want to give up and in ways that make me feel impowered.

Motherhood is filled with about a thousand things a hour that makes you realize how lucky, how truly blessed you are and how even though it's impossible at times, there is nothing in this world that matches it.
There is no one other than Trav and I that will love them more (except the Lord) and I remind myself of that often. Our home is the safest place they have here on earth, and what am I doing everyday with my time to insure that safety? Oh, how I adore them...
... So in these months of pregnancy where I would rather cut off a body part than endure the awfulness- I remind myself that this little one, will indeed melt my heart just the same, so yes, it is all worth it in the end.

It's a...

BOY!!!
If you look at the 2nd picture, there is no mistaking his "boy parts."
I dropped the girls off at G-ma's house and headed over to my appointment at 9:45. It was just me this time which was fine- by the 5th, I care, but it didn't matter too much that Trav wasn't there, they didn't have an afternoon app, so I had to take what I could get.

Everything went great, he looks healthy, all the organs look super and there are 5 toes at least on the foot that I saw! I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the app, I just kept thinking- another little man! But what will I do with him??? I know girls. I do pink. And flowers. But I guess I better figure out the boy thing before he gets here!

Organizing on a budget...

When we sold Grace's bed- we lost 3 valuable drawers that held A TON OF STUFF. I looked at Target for some cute bins, but knew $ 30.00- 40.00 was NOT in the budget, so I had to do some rearranging in the laundry room. I took out my cute canvas totes and put 4 of those under the bunk bed to hold: dress up clothes, Daisy's stuff, Grace's stuff & willow's stuff. It worked great- but then I needed something for the laundry room, so I looked at my wrapping stash and found a super close match, wrapped up some diaper & popcorn boxes and caled it good! I also picked up a few pink bins from the dollar store. And it only cost $ 4.00!

***So, for all your Spring cleaning & organizing projects- don't forget to wrap boxes instead of spending a fortune! (Cute labels are in the works!)

These are the canvas bins that were in the laundry room- but are now under the bed. (Yeah, the picture in bad- but the girls were sleeping when I took it)

Here are the wrapped boxes & dollar store bins.

She looks good...

I haven't found anything on Daisy in forever now- please Lord, PLEASE let us be done!

We sold the bed...

When we bought bunk beds, i knew I would have to sell Grace's super cute bed that I bought years earlier at a yard sale. I hated to see it go- but it didn't look so cute anymore taking up the entire living room- so thanks to craigslist, it was sold by 8:15 AM!

What else do you do?

What else do you do when it's the morning of your ultrasound, your husband has to get up a hour early for overtime (at 3:45 AM!), heartburn has already set in, the wiggle worm has hicups, you lay there unable to go back to sleep, but you dread crawling out of bed at that insain hour???

... you do it anyway- and...

take a shower
do some laundry
and some dishes
hop online and look at pinterest
get back on your blog to post some pictures
contemplate getting back in bed
get the diaper bag ready & by the door
write thank you's
eat breakfast
then eat again
wish you were sleeping
but the dryer is too loud
and your daughter wakes up at 5:05 AM
and you completely surrender to the fact you will never sleep again.

Pregnancy dreams...

All I can say is- the dreams are CRAZY these days!
Last night I had 2 kidnapped daughters who I frantically searched days for and then found clues next to a raspberry field & giant milk billboards.

A few night ago Servester Stalone hired me to clean his hoarding mother's house and then needed a date for a red carpet event which I agreed too, but then spent the next weeks trying to convince the press that he was only paying me to clean and nothing more.

Then I had a dream I carried a baby girl to full term, but when I saw her, she was minature with a crazy looking head.

There have so many others that I'm struggling to remember right now, darn, what are they??? That's what I recall for the moment...

Bunk beds...

We knew when we were planning another baby, that our second set of bunk beds would be on the list of things to buy, so we found some yesterday and Trav put them together for the girls. I wanted a few months to work on the transition from crib to "big girl bed" because it always takes awhile to get a routine down after they've been let out of their "cage".

The girls did great last night, and I'm loving the comforters I picked up at Ross a few months ago for $ 14.99 too- those things are pricey! After a little re arranging & organizing- I think the room will work just fine. If the baby is a girl- we'll keep her in that room with Grace & Willow (for decoration & color sake) but if it's a boy- he will share a room with Tristin & Daisy (they have the blue room).
We can't wait to find out in a few days what this little wiggle worm is!

2 Yard sales!!!

Yesterday we found 2 yard sales and my little heart was delighted beyond belief! Tristin found this amazing gas mask and wore it ALL day (except when we were shopping) I FIRMLY said, "No way, get that thing off"

It was the best .75 spent in a long time.
I was happy to pick up a few camping & baby supplies too! Bring on the yard sales, baby- I am SOOOOO ready!

A girl after my own heart...

The other morning I walked into the kitchen to find Willow naked eating chocolate chips!