Trying to balance it...

To me, every day feels like a juggling act. It's hard to be a woman, a mom, a wife, and a friend sometimes. I often feel like I'm failing and never enough. It's difficult to manage kids, the house, the errands, the husband, church responsibilites, after school activities, service projects, the laundry, meals and just finding time to relax for 3 seconds. It's not always so easy. Last week when I was up to my eye balls in pantry stuff, Grace came over and asked, "Mommy, do you want to play cards with me?" My first thought was: why won't everyone just leave me alone so I can clean up this war zone??? But instead, I dropped everything and said, "You bet!" We played 2 rounds of Uno and it was great. Later I was working again on the danger zone when Willow came up to me and said, "Mommy, do you want to play with me?" This time I thanked the Lord for my changed attitude and thanked him that I had kids who ACTUALLY wanted to be around me!In all the busy-ness, I stopped and reflected on my childhood. I wanted to be near my Mama every single second of the day. If she was going to the grocery store- I hopped in the car just so I could be near her. If she was reading her book in the morning before work, I would sit on the couch and visit until she had to take her hair curlers out because I wanted to be near her. It was constant- I just wanted my Mom and I needed to feel loved. That's all my kids want from me and often I get to focused on just making it until bedtime when I can crash for the night. I really want to stop it though. I want to be more present, more focused, more intune, more eager to listen, more longing for time with them. I'm so tired of being tired but I don't know if that part will ever go away or if it's really supposed to. All I know is, I stopped myself the other day and played puzzles with Willow. I didn't wait for her to ask me to play- I asked her to play with me and when I saw those cute little legs running down the hall and pig tails swaying back in forth as she ran to get the puzzles, my heart ached. My sweet little babies are growing up and there will be a time when I am begging for their attention and pleading for their love. My new goal is to stop anytime I hear the words, "Mommy, do you want to play?" because in my heart, I really do.

For no reason...

My sweet honey came home the other night with flowers and chocolate, for no reason! What a good guy! I love him!

New rug...

I found this super cute rug at Ross last week and replaced the one that was in my pantry. I love it!

Discovery center...

My brother bought us a family pass to the discovery center and we took the kids the other day. They always have a blast, and I'm always frantically carrying around the hand sanitizer!

A little project...

I've been a little busy this past week and haven't posed anything! Weird, huh? Well, we had a beautiful new furnace put in on wed which caused me to remove a corner of my panty. No big deal you say! Super duper wrong! My "one corner" filled most of my downsatairs. It was C.R.A.Z.Y folks! It took hours to clear a path and a day to get things back when the furnace was back in. What you have to know is that this is a very small space, and all of this is inside it! At one point we were climbing over stuff and trying to manouver around things when all of a sudden Tristin said, "mom, it feels like we are hoarders!" It really did actually, but it was a great time to remove everything on the floor and give it a fresh coat of paint as well. I spent hours going through drawers, bins and containers organizing everything I could. After neglecting my kiddos for the longest time, I quickly started putting things back in to be organized later. The bulk of the monsterous project was complete and it was time to be Mom again! Although there are still hours of work, it feels a little better in there!

What are your favorite apps???

It was 9 months ago when I really learned what an app was.Trav bought me a kindle fire for our anniversary and that's when I had to figure it all out. Yeah, I know, I am pretty clueless about a few things... anyway, I had never had a magic phone or any other device that needed them until then, so although I had heard of them, I never knew what they were or what they did. A few days ago I got a magic phone and now I need to know what apps you love and cannot live without! Honestly if I watch another you tube video with a 12 year old girl educating me, I might die, so let me know your favorites! Thanks.

My sweety pie...

Last night Trav and I went on a date! (thanks to my brother and sister-in-law's Christmas gift card!)It was nice to just sit and talk, just the two of us! I love this sweet man. He is truely amazing and I am honestly blessed.

Embracing it...

A few months back I was watching a talk show while folding laundry. They were talking about such a simple thing: being in the picture. Literally. They were saying how as Mom's, we are always the ones taking the pictures because that's what we do, but also because we don't like how we look or the extra weight we've put on etc... they were also talking about how our kids need to have pictures of us when we are gone. They need to see us, our smiles, our outfits, our joys- everything. A woman was talking about how sad she was because she could only find 1 picture with her Mom in it, and she cherised that photo. It got me thinking a lot. Like most Mom's I know- we are busy! Showers take too much precious time, make up is usually smeared around the bathroom floor, our hair is in a pony tail, someone is always crying, there's a mess that needs our attention, we never feel cute enough, or thin enough- so why in the world would we want to capture that? But, we need to. Cute or not, we need to leave something for our children, and we need to be kinder to ourselves. Today I am embracing the fact that I have a few lingering pounds on these hips and a few more on this tummy of mine. I am embracing the fact that this is where I am at in this little window of time in my life, and it's ok. Do I eat junk food in bed when the kids are asleep? You bet! Can I inhale a box of donuts in 5 minutes, or 2 big Macs in less than that? Yup. Do I eat healthy stuff too? All the time. And guess what, I'm a lot happier than I was when I was starving myself for years and then throwing up everything I ate. I stayed in a dark place for so long and I was consumed with calories and the # on the scale. I denied food, I took pills, I didn't keep anything down and I was miserable! Maybe I'm just using excuses, or fearing if I start caring I'll resort to my old ways- but I'm ok right now. Sure, I need to move this hiney of mine, but if I have a few more jiggles than I did when I was 20 with zero kids, than oh well, I'm embracing the fact that I like food, I wear a few extra pounds, my face is a little rounder and my backside is a little curvery. If nothing else, this extra layer of blubber is keeping me warm through the winter, right? Just be kind to yourself today and embrace where ever you may be.

Snow Day...

Last week the kids went out to build an igloo. They made 1/2 of it before coming inside to warm up!

Annikan's B-day...

I just found these pictures from Annikan's B-day last month!

Birthday cake...

I just stumbled across this birthday picture of me in my bath robe! Awesome find.

.5 wonders at Walmart!

I was at WalMart last week when they announced over the intercom that they had .05 & .25 school items at front for sale. We zoomed over to find these beauties waiting for us! I grabbed 140 items and sent the kids off to school with a bunch of stuff for their teachers. Some of it I can use for presents too! Thanks Lord for another awesome day of deals!

Someone loves his new car!

I picked up this jumpy seat at a yard sale over the Summer for $ 7.00! I just pulled it out of the shed and wiped it down. Roman loved it! Goodbye baby swing!

Happiness!

There are not enough words to describe how happy fabric makes me! After my Goodwood date on Friday with Trav & Roman, we went across the street and looked around at one of my favorite craft stores. I used my gift card from Christmas and picked up some pretty's! I love them!

Roman is 6 months old!

I won't even talk about how much denial I am in that he is 6 months already! It's just too much for my heart to handle! Happy 1/2 birthday little man (2 days ago!)

Jana's Birthday Bash!

On Friday we met at Jana's for a night of amazing entertainment! Everyone was supposed to wear orange, but I came straight from a date and forgot all about it! Thanks Jana for the invite and a few hours of pure fun!

Birthday Dinner!

I really debated if I should reschedule my bday dinner due to the roads, but with half my girls there last night, it turned out great! (Although I missed those who couldn't come, had sick kids or had longer distances to travel- thanks anyway ladies! Love you!) DeArley picked me up and away we went to eat at Red Robin were my chicken sandwich awaited. It was great to just hang out and talk. I even left Roman home! Thank you ladies for my dinner, my fun gifts and just showing up! It meant so much to me! After a long day of kids, cleaning, getting burnt egg smell out of my house, fighting, constant messes, feedings, a noodle bath to clean up and more messes- it was great to get away for a few hours and just sit. Thanks again ladies, I love you! Andrea & Christy- I'll see you soon!

Our 6th Annual Noodle Bath...

Here are the crazy pictures of our 6th annual noodle bath. And once again, please excuse the fat rolls, farmers tan and any other unsightly image you are about to witness.