Dad & Aunt Helene come for a visit...

It means the world to me when my Dad comes out for a visit (and my Aunt Helene too!) He drives 7 hours each way, just to spend the night with us and then has to leave the next morning to get back in time for work the next day. We had fun, like always- playing at the park, eating pizza, reading stories, playing, talking & goofing around. After everyone went to bed, Dad and I layed on the couch for over an hour and just talked.It brings me to tears now because that's all I wanted growing up- was my Dad. I just wanted to know that he loved me, and I was worth loving. I missed him terribly growing up so the time I have with him now is so much more special and cherished. We layed there in the dark talking about life- the divorce, my kids, my healing,being parents, his hard times,the death of his Father, and more. It was just what I needed- my Father by my side.
I no longer look back and dwell on what I didn't have with him growing up, although the loss still sadens my heart at times- instead, I focus on how great we are making our relationship now. I have realized being a parent is the most difficult thing i have ever done in my life. Nobody really knows what they are doing. When I became a Mother, I began to forgive my Dad on a different level because I instantly realized that our childrens lives can so easily be altered by our actions. Did I want my children holding onto my mistakes for 20 years unable to let go of them? No. I began to see my Father as a real person. Although the past happened, I now know that it is so much more beautiful being his friend than holding onto that hurt and pain.I love my Dad and I am thankful for the time he takes to be with us. I am grateful for the healing that continues every time I am with him. My heart no longer feels shattered, it feels like it is back together and whole again. I love every second with him because we have come so far. Thank you Dad for being there, for making us laugh, for playing with my babies, for talking late into the night, for hugging me, for making me feel important, for sacraficing your time and days off, for seeing me as a person and not just your daughter, for loving me and for seeing a need and driving over to make it better.