Saturday, November 8, 2008

It isn't about me...

I've been thinking a lot these days about how amazing time is.
When I was younger, I would watch things pass by and think to myself, I'm never going to have that second back, or that exact moment back either. I was always fasinated by time... how it was always moving, never stopping, how we wished it away, wished for more of it, how we were constantly fighting it, and becoming impatient by it.
Time has always mended the broken heart, given relief after the pain, and been something we all wish would hurry up.
What I am learning is... I will never get this second back. I will never have this moment back either, so I need to enjoy it. I need to read the long stories, I need to finish the entire game of Shutes & ladders without thinking about the laundry, and I need to remember that changing into a 5th princess dress and needing help again with the velcro, really is the most important thing in someone's tiny world. I just need to slow down.
What am I in such a hurry for? Really? I need to stop watching the clock, waiting for time to speed up, because when I think about it, it already is. I'm almost 29. I've been married 8 1/2 years and I have 3 beautiful babies with a tiny alien baby growing already! Time is moving... am enjoying the ride or too busy with the unimportant? I know my answer. I need to be content with where I'm at. I need to accept where I am in my life. I need to appreicate how far I've come when I begin to criticize myself. I am okay right where I am. One day, I'll be wishing I had this back. Wishing, I had the smeared toothpaste and the crumbs overflowing from the car and the never ending laundry & dishes. I need to appriciate the slobbery kisses and the sticky hugs more. I need to bring the Play Doe out, even if I hate the mess, because it isn't about me. It's about 3 little kids who want to make green and pink snakes and use silly cookie cutters to make fun shapes, and roll the messy stuff into balls and make snowmen. It isn't about me. One day I will look back and ask myself, was it really worth it? Was the clean house worth the time you lost? Was it fair to anyone? And why did it matter so much anyway? Today, I will try to embrace it... because, I will never have this moment back.

8 comments:

Mark said...

what a refreshing outlook on life... hope i can follow in your footsteps!

jen said...

I agree. I've been trying to cherish my kids more lately too. Congrats again on being pregnant! Hopefully you're not sick for too long. Let me know how I can help!!

Heather said...

Congrats! As I was reading this post I thought, did I know she was pregnant! Then I read the last one and got it! I'm so sorry you're sick-hopefully that won't last long? I hear you about enjoying these moments-I think that is the hardest part about being a mom- deciding what is most important at that moment or certain day and balancing it all. I'm still trying to figure it out! Heather

Dean Family said...

youre so cute em! youre a great mom and a wonderful friend and you inspire me! im so sorry youre not feeling well and i want to take your kids when you need a break. please let me know when you just cant take it anymore...thats why im here! i love you...

Amber said...

hi Emily!!! Congratulations!!! I'm so excited for you! Hey--I lost that precious piece of paper you gave me with your email address on it....will you email me so I have your address? I have the info from the craft fair I'm doing next weekend....

Rob and Amy said...

Hey Girl! CONGRATULATIONS:)!!! I'm so excited for you - But I'm not gonna let you steal the fertility goddess title from me just yet. I was pregnant 4 times in the summer of 2004. Hope you're not feeling too icky - call if you need to vent!

Jana said...

Emily, I think it's so great that you're magnifying your calling by posting mini-lessons for me since I won't be in Relief Society any more :)

Thanks for the reminder to enjoy the moments!

dawn inga said...

It's a funny thing about messy houses, they grow on you...