It's official.... I'm an A cup

In May I was feeling a little adventureous for my upcoming anniversary, and decided to go into Victoria's Secret to try on a few things. Remembering what Romy had said about their bras changing her life, I decided to finally give it a whirl (why, I don't know, because I HATE bras with a passion) but I went ahead and did it. A beautiful sales woman, with cleavage oozing out of her shirt, whipped out her measuring tape and wrapped it around me. Next, she said the 2 funniest words ever... "34 B".
I thanked her and walked away completely in shock because we both knew I was definatly NOT a B cup. I was baffeled because she stood there and lied right to my face! I figured that's what they told all the flat girls to make them feel good about themselves!
So, my recent visit with Chelsea & Andrea confirmed my initial beliefs.
Chelsea was going on about her new bra from Victoria's Secret and dragged me in the other night to try some on. " Come on Em, they will change your life."
Well, okay, I thought, 2 girls can't be wrong, so a nice saleswoman helped me get started in the dressing room. I must admit I was struggling a bit, and before I knew it, the lady asked, "Can I come in?"
Come in? I thought, but I'm in my garments! So I whispered, "I'm LDS and I'm wearing garments, I don't mind, but you may have never seen under garments like these before!"It didn't phase her a bit, because in 2 seconds she was in adjusting the straps, telling me not to worry and trying to work some magic, but then she paused and said, "Humm, there's a lot of gapping right here (making the ginormous cup size even more obvious) Why don't we try an A cup."
"I KNEW IT!" I said!
I knew those little things were not B's, infact everyone who's seen me could testify that they were definatly not B's, I had been right all along! I was so relieved! After all the hassel, those crazy bras did not change my life, so I left the store empy handed. I know it is an awfully sad confession, but I love sports bras. I just do. They are comfortable and they just make me happy and on the rare ocassion when it calls for a bra, I'm fighting the horrid thing the entire time, and besides, I'm an A cup, I don't even need a bra!