1st Place, Baby!

Tristin did AWESOME last night at the school wide jump rope compitition! Infact, so awesome that he took 1st place in his division!!! He got 369 jumps in 2 minutes! They compeated againt 6 other schools and he did it! I'm so proud of him! And yes, I was that Mom who couldn't stop getting down from the bleachers anytime he was within reach to hug him and tell him how proud I was and to just have fun and do his best! I know it was just jump roping, but I was so proud and in tears so many times last night while watching my young, sweet boy. He was flawless with perfect form and aparently a ton of jumps! Great job Buddy! We are so happy for you!

Mess Therapy...

After a recent "conversation" with someone I live with, it was brought to my attention that I am not the easiest person to live with. Although hurt at first, I've really reflected on my behavior, my additions, my attitude, my constant need for control, my depression and anxiety and a lot of my actions towards my family. In the beginning I felt blameless, but now as I examine myself, I have found that a clean and organized house, although great and awesome,comes with a cost and pretty high price tag too. I know what I need to work on, I live with myself everyday too and I am well aware that I am crazy and difficult and don't want anything out of place. After talking a lot with Trav, I tried to help him realize that the only control I have is in my home. Somewhere along the way my self worth got tied in and wrapped around what I do and accomplish in a day. I haven't been able to detangle the two yet and so what I do in a day refelects how I feel about myself in that moment. If the house is clean, then I feel I've succeeded, in return, I feel better. If the house is a mess, I feel I have failed and therefore I feel horrible inside. It makes complete sense in my brain, but it was also good to see that to him, it was difficult to connect the dots. So in honor of "working on it" and becoming more super to be around, I am conducting mini mess therapy sessions with myself to work on a few of my issues. My first one came 30 minutes ago while I was feeding Roman oh, so carefully. I stopped and said "what the heck, make a mess, just do it, Em! So I let him feed himself and smear rice cereal all over the place. I just stood and watched knowing the longer I took to clean it up, the faster in was turning into cement- but I also realized, I survived it. The mess didn't kill me, so here goes. I'll report back later. And Trav if you ever read this, thank you for loving me and sticking with me through all the mess in my head. I love you.

Daisy's 8th B-day= Angry birds Party!

I have thanked the Lord that our pantry fiasco was ealier in the week so I had time to clean up and get ready for Daisy's party last night! Here's some of the highlights!

Bath time!

Roman looked so cute yesterday taking a little bath, and naturally, Willow had to join him!

Tristin rocked it!

Of course I didn't get the note home telling me how big of a deal the jump rope event was going to be. Tristin told me the day before and asked if I wanted to go. Of cousre I did but when morning came and we had 10 minutes left to get myself ready, Roman changed and dressed and Willow pulled out of the rock she had climber under- it didn't look like we were going to make it in time. I told him over and over it didn't look like it was going to work. I called the school and found out it started at 8:40, so I had a few more minutes than I thought. I rushed the kids to school, drove home, ran inside and threw us together. We made it back to the school in time to watch the back of the gym fill with parents eager to watch. I thought it was just a little something they were doing in P.E. I didn't know it was a big deal!He had already won the which finals which qualified him to jump that day in the championship round. Next they were divided into boy/girl jumpers and by grage. They had several turns to jump and then I'm sure the # of jumps were averaged out to get their final score. The top 2 from each group were the 2013 Champs and the ones moving on to compeat next week against the other Elementary schools! I knew he was nervous, but he did awesome! His first jump went a little smoother than his second, and I remember thinking, I bet he's going to win, he's so fast! Sure enough he did and sure enough my heart lept out of my throat and before I knew it tears were welling up in my eyes. I was kind of embarressed with my sudden emotions, but I was so proud of him! My little man was all grown up jump roping like a wild man and he did great!

Why Not? Lets have a flood in the pantry!

Yesterday I was getting ready to go to the school to help with popcorn and Box tops. I ran in the panty to grab my clipboard and it fell down the crack between the shelf it was on and the hot water heater. It broke off a piece at the bottom of the tank and before I knew it, water was spraying everywhere. I was soaked within seconds and I just watched as my pantry began to fill with water. I was frantically screaming for Grace to help me, but she was already out in the van waiting for my return so we could leave. I was trying to turn the water valve off but it took forever. I was drenced, water was running out in my family room and my cute new rug and freshly painted floor were covered in water. I got the water stopped, texted Trav and just cried. I got the kids back inside and they helped bring our entire closet of towels to me where I began to clean up the crazy mess. There was at least an inch of water, plus what was gushing out onto my carpet. Trav made it home in time to help dry stuff off and get it out. Minor things were ruined that I just threw out.It took forever to get the water up and I even used my carpet cleaner to extract what I could. The Lord definatly blessed me because my sewing machine and Cricut were somehow unharmed and those items were totally at the water spraying level. It was a little miracle! We called to have the hot water heater looked at and of course the piece had broken off inside and we would need to repair it. Awesome! So, for the 3rd time in a few weeks, we have had water damage twice and a new furnace put in, each time causing the pantry to come out and overflow into my entire downstairs. I am so tired of crazy water issues! And I am absoultly exhausted from repeating the pantry process 3 times! I made a call to our insurance and we'll see if anything is covered. No hot water, lots of fans and another huge bill later, we are so very happy to be home owners!

Trying to balance it...

To me, every day feels like a juggling act. It's hard to be a woman, a mom, a wife, and a friend sometimes. I often feel like I'm failing and never enough. It's difficult to manage kids, the house, the errands, the husband, church responsibilites, after school activities, service projects, the laundry, meals and just finding time to relax for 3 seconds. It's not always so easy. Last week when I was up to my eye balls in pantry stuff, Grace came over and asked, "Mommy, do you want to play cards with me?" My first thought was: why won't everyone just leave me alone so I can clean up this war zone??? But instead, I dropped everything and said, "You bet!" We played 2 rounds of Uno and it was great. Later I was working again on the danger zone when Willow came up to me and said, "Mommy, do you want to play with me?" This time I thanked the Lord for my changed attitude and thanked him that I had kids who ACTUALLY wanted to be around me!In all the busy-ness, I stopped and reflected on my childhood. I wanted to be near my Mama every single second of the day. If she was going to the grocery store- I hopped in the car just so I could be near her. If she was reading her book in the morning before work, I would sit on the couch and visit until she had to take her hair curlers out because I wanted to be near her. It was constant- I just wanted my Mom and I needed to feel loved. That's all my kids want from me and often I get to focused on just making it until bedtime when I can crash for the night. I really want to stop it though. I want to be more present, more focused, more intune, more eager to listen, more longing for time with them. I'm so tired of being tired but I don't know if that part will ever go away or if it's really supposed to. All I know is, I stopped myself the other day and played puzzles with Willow. I didn't wait for her to ask me to play- I asked her to play with me and when I saw those cute little legs running down the hall and pig tails swaying back in forth as she ran to get the puzzles, my heart ached. My sweet little babies are growing up and there will be a time when I am begging for their attention and pleading for their love. My new goal is to stop anytime I hear the words, "Mommy, do you want to play?" because in my heart, I really do.

For no reason...

My sweet honey came home the other night with flowers and chocolate, for no reason! What a good guy! I love him!

New rug...

I found this super cute rug at Ross last week and replaced the one that was in my pantry. I love it!

Discovery center...

My brother bought us a family pass to the discovery center and we took the kids the other day. They always have a blast, and I'm always frantically carrying around the hand sanitizer!