So many types of Windex, so little time...

Tristin is in gymnastics...

2012-02-09T20:47:00.002-07:00

Last Wed when i took the girls to their first gymnastics practice, tristin came too. After 10 minutes he said, "Mom, I want to be in gymnastics!" So after the class we got him signed up for Tuesday nights. 2 nights ago was his first practice and he loved it. It was great to watch him enjoying himself and having a good time.

Littlest Pet Shop Party...

2012-02-09T20:36:00.002-07:00

Daisy had a Littlest pet shop party tonight. (For those of who who have no clue: They are small plastic animals with little bobble heads!)I didn't get pictures of everything, but she had a fun time. They had a bean bag toss, pin the tail on the animal, ate dinner, opened presents ate cupcakes, played and ran around the house screaming and laughing. It was a great night, and I am thrilled to have it done (is that awful to say??? I swear I'm just not with anything these days!)
She had lots of friends over, a lot of fun and it was great to see her smiling and happy. Happy 7th b-day sweety pie!
(Thanks Dad and Mom for the B-day money. We will put some in the bank!)

Happy 7th Birthday Daisy!!!

2012-02-09T20:30:00.000-07:00

Today Miss Daisy Mae turned 7. Seven. I am still in shock. It seems like just yesterday I was doing laps around the maternity ward struggling with the worst contractions of my life.
I'll never forget the day she ws born and I have loved every second of every day with her since.
She is definatly growing up, the drama is beginning (thank you school), but she is still the sweetest thing on the planet. She is as good as it gets, incredibly helpful, still very tender and the kindest girl you'll ever meet. I have adored her for 7 years. I couldn't love you more sweet girl.

Baby news...

2012-02-05T19:24:00.002-07:00

The ultra sound was almost a month ago, the picture was taken today by my 6 year old.

Baby update:

2012-02-05T19:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am still alive! But these past few months just about killed me. I am beyond grateful to have children, but being pregnant is awful. I know I am lucky, but oh my goodness it has been horrible. I am feeling a lot better, but still spending my free time (except for updating the blog)in bed, or the bath or in my bathrobe. I'm still feeling nauseaus, but I'm up now and I made it to church last week and today- finally! The vomiting was horrible, the sickness was awful, the months in bed was really irritating and my poor neglected children...

It didn't help at all that I had every sickness and infection on top of the worst part of pregnancy. I was in and out of the Dr several times, was on 4 antibiotics and/or drugs and was in so much pain. I had broncothis for almost 2 months(and still can't get rid of this cough!) Pulled 2 muscles coughing SOOOOOO MUCH,(I was given pain killers for that) and suffered with what was exactly like strep throat for more than a month. (I've had it so many times, and this was the absoulte worst case I had ever had, although my test came back negative, I almost died from the pain, all I could do was lay in bed and cry. Every part of me killed- I was so miserable.I had to go back in a few weeks later because I couldn't take the pain. My throat was caving in, the cough was so awful, and the pulled muscle hurt so mach I just cried. I was FINALLY given antibiotics and 3 other drugs to help get better.) It was a horrible few months, let me tell you.

Plus we had a scare when the Dr. couldn't find the baby's heart beat. I was told not to panic, left the clinic in tears and called my OB right away. She fit me in later that day and did find a little heart and baby squirming away! Thank goodness!

Trav was a trooper and held down the fort for those few months. He kept up on laundry, the kids, the house and cooking. He took them to movies, the park and read stories. Lara brought dinner one night which was so sweet and thoughtful and Shelly brought a loaf of bread last week that I quickly devoured.

I am almost 17 weeks and look like I'm carrying 13 kids. I feel huge. I feel gross and so unattractive. i feel like I'm one of those capsules you put in water and watch as it grows right before your eyes. I know it's my 7th pregnancy, but why does my body have to expand at such a rapid rate??? (Being 15 pounds heavier this time around surly hasn't helped the body image thing either) I am so exausted and seriously My bre*sts have tripled in size. I'm not used to having cleavage, and it isn't fun! We will find out in awhile what this little critter is, I wish my OB would just tell me what it is when I go in next week- but I have to wait another 3 weeks until she'll do my offical ultrasound. Darn it! (she was a sweet heart and shortened 2 of my visits so we wouldn't have to wait until I'm 6 months pregnant to find out, so that was nice of her.)
I'm starting to feel the baby move, which is always weird at first. You doubt it for awhile wondering if you really felt it, but I'm pretty sure this wiggle worm is kicking away. I'll keep you posted with every boring detail from now on!

Gymnastics...

2012-02-05T18:24:00.001-07:00

Last week was the girls first time in gymnastics and they LOVED IT!!! I was able to get them in the same class, which was a total life saver and now they look forward to every Wednesday!
After Tristin saw the girl's, he wanted to join too, so we signed him up on Tuesday evenings- we will see how he likes it in a few days!

Randomness

2012-02-05T18:18:00.001-07:00

Fun with boxes...

Feeding the ducks...

2012-02-05T18:15:00.001-07:00

Fun at the park!

Snow & Oranges...

2012-02-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

The girls had fun playing in the snow a few weeks ago and they loved their orange smiles!

Shane, Chelsea & the twins come for a visit!

2012-02-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

I was so happy to see everyone when they came to town for a visit! We love you guys SOOO much!

Our noodle bath!

2012-02-05T17:58:00.000-07:00

My birthday this year was anything but eventful. I was in bed all day sicker than a dog, throwing up and needing drugs beyond belief.
I did manage to get up for 30 minutes for our annual noodle bath- but I think only 10 or 12 packs were used this year. I just couldn't handle the smell of it or the horrible clean up it would require. Notice I didn't even get in this year. I just put my feet in, still in my Pj's with a nasty ponytail and looking like death.
The girls had a blast and I quickly resumed to my cave after it was over!This was my first year I would have payed not to do it!

Mom makes my birthday cake!

2012-02-05T17:47:00.000-07:00

When Mom was here, she made me a birthday cake and then we decorated it super crazy. Why not? Right? What else do you do when you are turning 32! I pulled out every holiday decoration I had and we went to town. Beside's my giraffe cake when I turned 12, this was my favorite!Thanks Mom!

G-ma & G-pa come for a visit!

2012-02-05T17:40:00.000-07:00

When Mom called a few months ago and asked what I was doing Jan 6th-8th, I replied, "Probably laying in bed Mom." She asked if it would be okay if they flew over and I said, "Of course, Mama- just don't expect me to do anything!"

They flew out for the weekend and it was the best couple of days I had had in a long time.
Mom cooked a few things to put in the freezer, we went out to eat a lot, we played BINGO,the boys went to a hockey game, we walked around the peacock park, and mom had a little birthday party for me. It was a great few days. Thanks for everything Mama!!!

Christmas...

2012-02-05T17:31:00.001-07:00

Christmas!

2012-02-05T17:26:00.001-07:00

Christmas was realy nice and relaxing this year. The kids opened presents, we went to church for 1 hour and then we went over to G-ma & G-pa's for the rest of the day. (My favorite part: laying on the couch!)
We were spoiled like crazy this year and Tristin recieved a beautiful guitar from his Uncle Jesse (along with 3 months of lessons!)
Trav bought me a BEAUTIFUL drill press that I wanted more than anything and the girls loved all of their presents too. It was a great day.

*** And yes, Willow had pink eye over the holiday, plus a doulble ear infection and an upper respertory infection. Good thing we got her in the next day and started eye drops and antibiotics!

Christmas morning...

2012-02-05T17:18:00.001-07:00

Christmas Cookies...

2012-02-05T17:12:00.002-07:00

I dragged myself out of bed long enough to bake for a bit so the kids would have something to deliver to their friends. Here they are making Christmas cookies!

Grace's 5th Birthday Party...

2012-02-05T17:05:00.000-07:00

This year Grace had her party at McDonald's. That's right. No decorations, no planning, no games, no food- just ice cream cones and a bunch of kids screaming in the playland. It was all I had in me. I did it there incase Trav had to hold down the fort by himself. It was 1 hour and luckily I didn't barf at all the smells.
Because Grace shares her b-day with her G-ma Edith- we went over to there house on the 22nd to celebrate with cupcakes.
All that mattered was that Grace had fun, I sure love this little girl!

Feeling yucky...

2011-12-03T21:02:00.001-07:00

I'm really surprised the vomiting hasn't started yet- (except for the terrible stomach flu a week ago.)
Trust me, I am ever so thankful to still be in the upright position. But I've been a little nervous too. I'm totally pregnant, which was confirmed by me crying at a Hallmark commercial a few days ago. What is it about that solider Dad who gets the book from his kid who just started to read- that gets me every time???
The past few days I have felt really gross. I have been reminded to keep several plastic bags with me for vomiting after I almost had to dump out my diaper bag to throw up in. I want to throw up I just can't yet, but boy, am I close when a sweet old lady walks by with her nasty perfume! it's just the normal 2 month mark where everything feels off. I feel tired and achy, my bre*sts are sore, and what is up with the smells these days? Why does that happen and so fast? I am really starting to struggle with:

*Our fish food. I have to crumble it and it smells terrible!
* Rubber tires. They smell awful.
*Cooked noodles. I wanted to gag.
*Hot dogs grinding up in the disposal. So gross folks.
*Cleaners. A very sad day.
*The holiday section at Fred Meyer. It's so strong!

even:
*Tide laundry soap. And I love that stuff!
*My super yummy berry soap from Bath & body works- it's all off to me right now. Food is starting to be a problem. I want to eat, but I don't. Nothing sounds good, but I have to eat something or I'll feel worse- you know the story! Although very grateful to have another child- I am not excited for 7 very long months of pregnancy.
I am beyond thankful to still be up so I've been trying to keep up on laundry, more wrapping, sending off packages and more organizing. I just got the kids down after letting them stay up late to finish a movie- and I am tired. Trav is at a friends finishing the football game & I'm off to watch The Office and drift off to sleep. I had to get a few posts done before it gets any worse and let you know we are still surviving and very much pregnant!

A few stops today:

2011-12-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

I thought while I was still standing- we should make our rounds and drop off our food and toy donations around town today. So today was the day. We loaded up bags of toys & food for the fire station, Fred Meyer: Stuff the bus, the women & childrens shelter & the Mission.
I pray that 1 of the things my kids learn is the sprit of service and giving. I know I could do so much more, but I think Trav and I do a pretty good job at involving the kids in activities. We try to help our neighbors, we volenteer in community events, we help at church, the kids help deliver meals to those who are sick in the ward, help clean the church, help people move and we are always trying to find ways to life people up. I think it's one of the greatest things we can do- to help those in need and remind people they are loved.
We had a tour of the fire station today which the kids loved and a tour of our local Women's shelter. It was really cool to have the director take us around and show us the supply room, the kitchen, the donation area, food pantry & he intoduced us to residents and we talked to volenteers cooking in the kitchen. It was a great experience to involve the kids in and we hope to go back soon to serve a meal or make crafts with them. I took notes on what they need so if you have anything to donate they need: cereal, dish soap, laundry soap, shampoo & conditionor, newborn & size 1 diapers. Anything is greatly appriciated.
I taught a coupon class there a year ago and every time we drop stuff off- I have such an overwhelming sense that I need to be apart of an organization like that. I want to help people and because I don't have a lot to give, I know what I can give is my time. Mom has always told me to find a place to volenteer and do it.

Preparing for the storm...

2011-12-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

Let me advise you not to brown 12 pounds of hamburger when you are entering the gaging stage of pregnancy! It had to be done though. I took one for the team, let me tell you...shredded chicken was A LOT better!

Here's to preparing food for the weeks to come...

How do you serve dinner???

2011-12-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

These days, if I make it, it's a good night. I just laugh though because I line up all the plates and feel like the lunch lady at school serving up a thousand meals. And please don't judge me- tonight's dinner was: Mac N Cheese, potatoes, cottage cheese and milk! Amazing over here, let me tell you!

Daisy gets the B.U.G. award- don't laugh...

2011-12-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

So, I thought this was hilarious when Daisy handed me an invite to her school because she won the BUG award! Yeah, I know darling!!!
No, it's not a lice award- it stands for:bringing up grades (or keeping up the great ones!) We went to her assembly yesterday where she was 1 of 6 to get it! We are So proud of her- I swear, her teacher loves her too. He ALWAYS comments on how sweet she is and advanced! She is so smart, so sweet and such a doll. We love her to pieces.

Little traditions...

2011-12-03T19:54:00.002-07:00

Growing up, my Mom ALWAYS had these chocolate calendars for the month of December and I LOVED them! So, every year I get one and the kids love it too!
We also set the tree up & decorations last week. I've been playing Christmas music, wrapping presents and trying to get in the spirit!

Thanksgiving Pictures...

2011-12-03T19:51:00.002-07:00

We had a great time at Aunt cammy's house. We ate dinner at the church and it was heavenly! Emmy was baptized that morning too and it was a great day!

Lice Update: 8 weeks...

2011-12-03T19:39:00.001-07:00

Just a little update. About a month ago we thought we were nearing the end of our terrible lice experience. We were still VERY careful, but we were excited to have our egg removal count be zero for days! I went to Lara's b-day party and that night, WITH MY HAIR DOWN, thinking I was fine. After returning home, I had Trav check my head becasue I had been really itchy. (Remember I was using TONS of stuff on my head so it was difficult to tell if my scalp was irritated- or if something was in there- but I honestly thought I was fine.)

To my horror, he found several eggs in my hair that night. I ALMOST DIED. I had been in Lara's truck- in her front seat, in her back seat, we picked up Rosie and she sat in the front where I had been too. I was mortified. I wanted to curl up in a ball and just die, but instaed I had to call my friends after 10:00 PM and tell them I still had eggs and they needed to have themselves checked. Not fun at all. I was so embarressed. I felt ill.
The good news was that the eggs honestly looked mutaited. They didn't look normal (probably due to all the homemade stuff left on my head for 12 hours straight for days & weeks)
***P.S. I COMPLETELY burned my scalp and behind my ears. It was honestly peeling off in sheets and clumps. So my advice, make the homemade/natural stuff but don't leave it on for 12 hours straight for weeks!)

So, the cr*p continued for weeks. A few were found on the other kids, and we were all still wearing shower caps and washing EVERYTHING under the sun, still using chemical shampoos and every precausionary measure possible. We found a few more eggs before Thanksgiving, had shampoos and went to the cousin's for a few days to be with family. The plan was: I was going to stay home with Willow, but after finding zero the night before, doing a shampoo treatment & calling my SIL for her honest feelings with me being in her home- I decided to go. We had a great time too. The cousins had a blast, Cammy, Ellen & I went black Friday shopping, went to a basketball game and felt pretty good.
Sadly we caught the stomach flu while we were there and delt with Willow throwing up 5 times and Tristin throwing up once. We knew it was time to get home. After arriving home, I started feeling AWFUL, but thought it was pregnancy stuff starting. The vomiting was HORRIBLE and I just layed on the bathroom floor crying to God saying: "I'm not ready for this!" (Meaning the pregnancy sickness) It was over in about 48 hours but I was reminded how awful it gets, so the next day, I hurried and got my Christmas shopping done, made a Costco run and bought prepared meals and organized everything I could. After a glimpse of the awfulness, I was scared.

So- back to head lice. I pray we are done. It was been 8 weeks and 2 days and I am so worn out I don't know what to do anymore. Although hopeful, I know not to get too excited. We haven't found anything in my hair since before Thanksgiving and 1 of the girls 8 days ago- so, we are praying we are done. The kids will get another shampoo treatment tomorrow just for fun and we will continue to look like cancer patients with our shower cap/pillow case heads around here. Here I am with lice shampoo on my head- patiently waiting my 10 minutes!

Here comes baby # 5...

2011-11-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

It's offical! And early. We found out almost 2 weeks ago that we are expecting # 5!
Call me what you will...(I've heard it all lately) but we are really excited. And nervous. And scared. And overwhelmed. And thrilled. And extremely blessed to be so fertile. We've been planning for several months (you know how it goes- get the IUD removed, wait a few months/cycles and then hope for the best!) Of course we ended up pregnant in no time (which I also know is an amazing blessing)
I am scared out of my mind to endure the next 3 months of violent sickness- but I have no choice. I have been making freezer meals, freezer lunches, getting the craft show complete, working on organizing projects, wrapping Christmas presents and praying for just another day until it hits and I am out for 10 long weeks. There is nothing I can do except throw up 15- 20 times a day, and lay on the floor like a zombie. It is the near death sickness that is awful. I can handle the barfing- I've been great at that most my life- it's just the non functioning part that is so madning.

I have been prepping Grace for months now, as she will litterally become my saving Grace. I figure I have a week or two left before it hits and I have been frantically trying to get things done and play with the kids. Just pray for the kids. I have no idea how any of them have survived my pregnancies. They run around the house doing who- knows- what while I pray for God to end my misery and just let me die.

Thankfully Trav is home by 3:00 in the afternoons and can do damage control, laundry, kid duty and errands. Oh, how I wish there was any other way. I would give body parts not to have to go through this- but here we go....
Farwell friends, I will see you in a few months...

Craft Show Tomorrow- Nov. 19th @ 9:00 -4:00

2011-11-18T14:45:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is the big day! If you are needing super cute gifts for Christmas, Baby showers, Birthdays, Weddings, etc... come out tomorrow and shop! There is nothing over $10.00, with most everything $ 7.00 & under. Prices start at .25! It is at the same church as the past 2 years.
Hope to see you guys there!

Craft show...

2011-11-18T14:37:00.002-07:00

Craft Show tomorrow- Nov. 19th 9:00-4:00

2011-11-18T14:32:00.003-07:00

Grace is reading & writing...

2011-11-18T14:23:00.002-07:00

Grace started reading a few months ago and we were completely shocked! Months later she is doing remarkably well for a 4 year old and we are still a little stunned. She's also wring stories, although these are a little harder to understand. Here's her latest one:
Line 1= Once there was a girl.
Line 2= She was trying to get
Line 3= a treasure chest.
Line 4= She finally found it.
Line 5= Then she went home.
Line 6= The End. Bye, Bye.

Not too shabby for a 4 year old without help!

Randomness...

2011-11-18T14:17:00.001-07:00

Here's a few random pictures from the past week!

Daisy's Concert...

2011-11-18T14:12:00.000-07:00

Daisy & Tristin had their school concerts last night and Wed night. (I didn't make it to Tristin's though- Trav said he did a great job!).)
Daisy did an awesome job singing and even was apart of the solo group. She was pretty nervous, but she warmed up and was great!

1,000 posts!!! Rake Up Nampa...

2011-11-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

I just realized this is my 1000th post! Super fun!

Yesterday was "Rake Up Nampa" day. We met at the kids school at 9:00 AM, ate breakfast and then broke up into teams and went and raked up leaves for the elderly around our neighborhood. It was a lot of fun, really cold & a great thing to have the kids be a part of. We came back to the school a few hours later and had lunch. I won the best tasting chili award- Thank you Nally's for helping me pull it off! It was simple: use can opener to remove 4 lids, dump into crock pot and stir! The kids were given books, coupons and bracelets, it was really sweet of them. We will definatly be helping out each year!

Sweet Friends...

2011-11-04T18:27:00.001-06:00

It's funny that all my "freaked-out-by-germ" friends have brought me presents lately, they are secretely glad it's me and not them! Just kidding! I just had to say thanks to my sweet friend Lara who brought over tea tree oil body wash today! I was complaining that I was almost out of my entire bottle of oil, so she tried to pick me up some, but instead got the soap! Thanks dear. And my sweet friend Michelle came over close to 10:00 PM last night to bring me a bottle of Sol-U-Mel. I had never used it before, so I was excited to get my squirt bottle on!( Michelle uses it for everything under the sun, and because it is all natural- it's safe for everything, so I've used half a bottle on just about everything I own. )Thanks guys for thinking of me- you know the way to my heart: cleaning supplies and soap!

Wooden blocks...

2011-11-04T10:55:00.000-06:00

I have different sizes of wooden blocks.
They vary from $ 1.50 to $ 3.00 each.

Felt Necklaces...

2011-11-04T10:50:00.000-06:00

I love these too!
More color combos to come!
$ 2.50 each

Mini Chalkboards...

2011-11-04T10:39:00.001-06:00

These turned out so cute! I love them!
They are perfect for church, traveling or back seat entertainment! They are small enough to fit in the diaper bag & come with chalk & eraser!
$2.50 each

Towels with washcloth...

2011-11-04T10:36:00.000-06:00

I use these in the kitchen & the bathroom! I will have a lot more too!

$ 3.50 for the set.

Craft Show here we come!!!

2011-11-04T10:21:00.001-06:00

I have my annual craft show coming up in 15 days, so between the craziness, I've been working on tons of projects! Here's a little preview incase you want to purchase any gifts for the holidays/birthday's/baby showers before the show! I'll be adding pictures this week, so stay tuned!

Wreaths:
Lg.= $ 7.00
Sm. = $4.00

4 terrible weeks- Lice 101

2011-11-04T00:07:00.001-06:00

Today marks the 4th week mark and I think we are done with these wretched bugs. We have all been clean for awhile now, but are still checking each other like wild monkeys every day. (I think we will be for the next year until I relax!) I am still acting as if every household member is still infected, and I'm sure 90% of my behavior & extreme measures have been unnessary, but, who cares at this point, I've done what I've needed to do to survive!

I wanted to share a few things I've learned, because now my mission in life is to help everyone I know prevent this or deal with it when it hits. (And I pray for everyone on the planet that it is prevention, and nothing else.)

Lice 101: according to Emily.

What you are looking for
Itching of the scalp may or may not accure. In Daisy's case, it did, which prompted me to check her hair. At first, I didn't know what I was looking for, so I checked on line and even made 2 visits to the pharmacys here in town to ask questions. What I found were tiny, clear, irradesent balls stuck to her hair about an inch from her scalp. These are the eggs that HAVE TO BE REMOVED from the hair. They have about a week life span until they hatch. When these were found, I pulled the entire strand of hair out, instead of combing it out ( I didn't want to risk losing the egg back in the hair, so I felt better removing it completely)

When bugs are found
First, pray. I mean pray like you have never prayed before. Seeing them for the first time is frightening. They vary in size too. The smaller ones are newly hatched, where the larger ones have been in longer feeding off the scalp. The first time I saw the bugs, they were very small. I was able to part the hair, place a piece of scotch tape on the scalp and pull it off with the bug attatched to the piece of tape. For the fast moving suckers, pray even more and keep reading.

Treatments
I'm not judging anyone's prefrence to go chemical or natural when it comes to killing these little guys. I did both, several times, both ways. The first 2 treatments everyone recieved were chemical based. The Walmart brand of shampoo was used. It did kill the bugs! It remained on the scalp for 10 minutes. ( we saw them wash out and land on the bottom of the tub, a horrible image still lodged in my brain)The 3rd treatment was natural based that included shampoo that remained on the head for 4 hours. It included a daily prevention spray as well. We also made 4 batches of homemade shampoo that consists of: 1/3 cup vinigar, 1/3 cup coconut conditioner, 2 teaspoons of tree tea oil & 1/4 cup Dawn liquid dish soap. This could be left on overnight with a shower cap, but we've just used it as normal shampoo and rinsed out after a few minutes- I'm not sure how long is sufficiant.
On the natural side, I also purchased a Robi comb(From Fred Meyer for $ 24.99)It detects & instantly kills any living bugs. It is a battery opperated comb that can be reused over and over. I loved this little guy. Although the buzzing sound was super hard on my sensitive ears, it zapped the bugs and they came off on the comb so I could brush them off and resume combing. (For huge bugs, it killed them, but were not stuck to the comb, they were too big to stick in the teeth of the comb)I thought it was worth the money!

Prevention
Just when you thought you were cured, the fun really begins. Combing for hours and days and weeks searching for more eggs. The awful part is the shampoo kills the living bugs, but does nothing for the eggs! Those have to be manually removed within 7 days or those ugly things hatch and the awfulness starts ALL OVER AGAIN! There are things that help remove them- like dawn dish soap because it breaks down the stickyness and can be combed out easier, but nothing kills the eggs. That's why you have to keep checking the hair for at least a week or two, just to make sure nothing has hatched. Tips for small kids: tape pictures to the shower walls so they have something to look at. Get comfortable- we had a stool they sat on in the tub while we picked the eggs out. Put a lamp near the head for good lightening or go outside. The eggs can be hard to see, but when the light hits them just right, they have a shine to them. The nit combs work great or any small toothed comb should be fine.

Cleaning
I went crazy when this hit. I washed and dryed 110 loads in 3 weeks- most of it done within the first 2. I washed almost every single thing in my entire house. If it could go in the washer- it went. EVERYTHING. Even things that i knew in my mind could not be contaminated- was washed. I even washed the hangers & clothing rods clothes had been on. I washed walls, I sprayed harsh chemicals, I sprayed natural things. I dilluted tea tree oil and sprayed in on hair, pillows, car seats, stuffed animals- you name it. I used hundreds of Lysol wipes and disenfecant spray- just to make me feel better. I froze things, I put things in bags for weeks, I threw things away, I bought new pillows, shampooed carpets, couches and cars. I vacummed EVERYTHING. And then I did it about a 100 more times- litterally!I figured I could never be too clean. After weeks of washing, I started doing several loads on high heat in the dryer. 30 minutes in the dryer will kill them, so instead of washing the same sheets for 3 weeks in a row, I started drying them every other day to reduce half of my work load. That helped. Every single day sheets, blankets, pillow cases, stuffed animals- pj's- were washed or dryed. Things were used 1 time and then thrown in the wash. All combs, hairclips & shower caps were washed every single time. There was no sharing of any kind around here- of just about anything for a few weeks!
Even now being symptom free- We still wear shower caps at home, change our clothes if we go out and the shower cap was removed, put all coats & clothes in the dryer if they were worn for a hour or less. All school stuff is dryed or sprayed and clothes are changed right away & hands are washed.

Things to know
*Lice actually like clean hair! So don't wash it everyday. Use hairspary or other products to cause build up so they have a hard time moving around.
*Lice suck blood from your scalp and can only survive a day or 2 off of your scalp. After that, they dehydrate and die.
*Lice do not jump or fly. They move quickly through the hair and are passed mostly through head-to-head contact. (or through things touching the head like:hats or combs.) But, because they can survive off the head for 24-48 hours- they can be on carseats, stuffed animals, bedding, clothes, carpet or furniture.
*Vacuum A TON.
*Your head may or may not itch, so check all family members regular- just to make sure.
*Keep your child home from school, church,play groups etc... until they are nit free. And after that, have the school nurse check them too. And then keep checking at home for weeks.
*Be respectful and contact those you have been in close contact with. They are the worst phone calls to make, and you will freak a lot of people out- but they have the right to know so they can prevent it as much as possible.
*For the OCD type, there is a grieving cycle, I think it's natural. Work through all the phases and accept any feelings, urges or temptations that come. My handwashing was out of control. I was washing AT LEAST 100 times a day. I'm not joking. Often several times in the same minute depending on what I was touching/cleaning. My hands cracked, peeled and dryed out and I didn't even care. I went through bottles of soap, hand sanitizer and bars too.
* This may cost a lot. We spent well over $ 100.00. Just be prepared.
*Invest in shower caps. I bought my 8 packs at the dollar store (Dollar tree) They even have fun colors to choose from- the highlight of our days! I washed them several times and then hung to dry. Eventually they will tear or the elastic will stretch out- so just buy another pack or 4! i also covered my head with a pillowcase because the showercaps didn't cover my entire head with so much hair.
* After washing everything- just drying items for 30 min. may be sufficant. You can also freeze items)
*Consider cutting your hair to make the egg removal easier & faster. I cut 5 to 6 inches off mine, (and it still took/takes over a hour to go through my hair) 3 off Daisy and gave the boys cuts too- even though they were good.
*Use whatever form of therapy you need too to get through it. I choose to vent to my Mom, G-ma, close friends, write and eat a lot.
*Let it be as big as it is. To some, this won't be so bad. To other's- it will be the Mount Everest in your life. Just accept it, do what you can and hold on. I had so many panic attacks I can't even count. I couldn't sleep. I broke down in the bathroom and driving in the car. Sometimes I could talk about it and other times I was so mortified I couldn't go anywhere or look at anyone. Not even the Office helped very much.

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-01T15:04:00.000-06:00

The kids had a blast last night Trick or Treating. Our favorite part was watching Willow say: "Trick or treat" and then "thank you" in her cute little squeeky voice! Oh, it just about turned your heart to mush! Even all the people behind the door were saying how adorable she was. It was pretty cute.
Tristin was a : Pokemon trainer. I made his shirt, he painted his hat, he turned golf balls into Pokemon balls and velcro-ed them to his belt and he carried his Pokemon bag.
Daisy and Grace were both black cats. I picked up the costumes (mask, tail and bow) last year for Super cheap, .50 each I think.I wanted Grace to be a unicorn, but she didn't want too. I picked the adorable costume up at a yard sale for .25!
Willow was a hot pink dragon. I picked hers up at a yard sale for $ 1.00. The best part was the little tail that wiggled back and forth as she walked. Priceless.

We went and visited G-ma & G-Pa when we were done and then came home to gets the kids to bed. It was a chilly night, but they had a great time. Trav and I think it's one of the best night's of being parents. We love the candy even more than they do! We lay in bed and watch the Office while eating or kids Halloween candy! Pure Heaven.

Daisy wins a coloring contest at Albertson's...

2011-11-01T14:43:00.000-06:00

Little Miss Daisy is quite the artist. She loves to draw, color, make up stories and be creative. The girl's entered their Halloween pictures in the Coloring contest at Albertson's, and Daisy won for her age bracket! I'm so proud of her. She was so embaressed when we went to pick up her $10.00 gift card, and Mark announced her winning over the intercome! She picked out a stuffed polar bear.

Tristin earns the gator Award!

2011-11-01T14:33:00.000-06:00

Tristin won the Gator Award last week at school , and tomorrow we get to go and have lunch with him. I am proud that he is working hard, being a great student and loves to read. He makes me so happy to be a Momma!

Trav's 34th birthday...

2011-11-01T14:30:00.000-06:00

Good grief, when did we get so old? Trav just turned 34 on the 29th! We went out to Olive Garden for dinner while G-ma & G-pa watched the kids for a hour and 1/2 for us. That's what Trav wanted more than anything, so I saved my pennies and had a $4.00 off coupon I was excited to use. If you know me, you know the only thing I order from there is their Chicken alfredo pizza which is to die for (but did you know they stopped serving it with the alfredo sauce? you can still ask for it though!) The past few b-day parties that have been celebrated there, i was sad to see my pizza under cooked. I'm not one to make a scene about anything, so the first pizza i ate, but was sadly disappointed in the doughyness. the second party I went to- I ordered it again, and AGAIN it was under cooked- but this time I asked them to bake it just a minute or two longer.

So when Trav & I were waiting to order, I debated if I should say anything or not. When our waiter came, I told him about my love for the pizza, but how it had been under cooked in the past and could they cook it just a tad bit longer- not burnt, but just a little bit more? Long story short, the pizza came out with black crust. Our waiter was mortified. I gave it a taste, after removing the crust and it was good enough to eat. It was slightly not ok on the bottom, but I could still eat it and I was fine with it. He kept coming back to the table and shaking his head saying it just wasn't right. Even the manager came out and looked at it. Seriously, I wasn't making a deal about it at all and they kept coming over to us and talking about it. I tried to reassure them I was fine, but I guess it was too much for them and they subtracted it from our bill! It was pretty sweet of them. I was just excited for the cheap dinner!
Happy Birthday sweet man.

When Grace get's the camera...

2011-11-01T14:11:00.001-06:00

Oh, this little monkey cracks me up. I love her...

Trunk Or Treat...

2011-11-01T14:05:00.000-06:00

Friday night was or ward's trunk Or treat. The kids had a great time collecting candy- it got them ready for last night's outing!

32 Shower Caps...

2011-11-01T14:02:00.000-06:00

Let's just say we've gone through a lot of shower caps the past 3 1/2 weeks. Every second we are home, we have them on, even Willow had to join in the fun the other day and put one on. These things are pretty sexy, let me tell you- but I'm parinoid, so for the next 1o years I'm forcing my kids to wear them! P.S. Don't even ask what we were doing in these pictures!!

***The hello Kitty cards here you see Grace playing with were actually mine when I was her age- a good 26 years old. My G-ma held onto them for me until I was old enough to take care of them, it's just kinf of cool to see my girls playing with something I used to love so much

Randomness...

2011-11-01T13:52:00.000-06:00

the girls had a birthday party for their stuffed animals awhile back. they made decorations, wrapped goofy presents and made treats for the party. they were pretty thrilled with themselves!

The girls were playing in the leaves the other day and looked pretty cute!

Facing our fears...

2011-10-26T22:28:00.001-06:00

***For those of you tired of my posts lately, just move on... This is the only place I have to vent- and it's become my journal & family record- so just know, this is 100% for me and my sanity. Writing is therapy for my crazy soul. If you are looking to be entertained, you have come to the wrong place my friends- this is just my rambling so I can clear my mind and try to sleep a little at night. ***

I was watching Anderson Cooper today, which I love, and it was all about facing your fears. I was glued and hooked within seconds as the show started because, right now in this very moment- I am living one of my biggest fears. The Dr on the show talked about surrendering, and my heart stopped and the tears began to fall. I listened as Anderson talked about in his moments of fear- he pictures the scene from Dances with Wolves, where Kevin Costner is riding his horse with his arms spread and his head back- completely letting go, or surrendering. I stopped, because there was my answer.
For 3 weeks now I've been begging God to reveal the lesson in all of this madness. So many times I cried out, "Just hurry up and show me what I'm supposed to learn so I can learn it and move on to the next trial." But nothing was coming. No answer. No lighting bolt, nothing.

Last night as I sat for a hour & 1/2 while eggs were being removed from my head- I told Trav- "I'm just waiting... I don't know what the lesson is, but I wish this would end... I listed about 20 things I thought the Lord was trying to teach me or could be factors, and I'm sure they are all apart of it as well- but my answer came as I heard the words today- just surrender to your fears.

The truth is, it isn't about the lice anymore- it's about everything else. It's about my mind, my obsessions, my addictions, my compulsive behavior, my wild thoughts that prohibit me from so much and my insane rituals that I cannot rid myself from. I have worked so hard in therapy over the years to overcome and get a handle on some of it, but the past 3 weeks I have been so out of control I have felt defeated, weak and so small.

I know I am crazy. I have been running from me my entire life. I have hated me for so many years and the time I have wasted cleaning, and sanitizing- thinking it would make me feel better. It hasn't. Everything is contaminated and I know it, That's why I have feared it- because it is everywhere and I can't clean it all well enough so I can rest and feel at peace. I've had a cleaning/germ fetish for years. That's what I do. I clean. I make the germs go away. But periods in my life have been really difficult.

For a long time I couldn't have anyone in my home. I couldn't handle the germs they would bring into my house and if they did, I had to wash and sanitize everything after. I ironed my dish towels for years because the wrinkles drove me crazy. I couldn't look at the mismatched silverware in my drawer,so I got rid of it until we didn't have enough utensils to eat off of. I haven't been able to sit on the fabric pewes at church for years because of the bugs I knew were crawling on them transfered from everyone's clothing- I always changed my clothes after church so the germs wouldn't cling to the surfaces in my home and contaminate everything there. The sacrament trays have always been an issue, shaking hands, holding the dirty hymn books, touching doors and handles. The grocery store has always been a awful place too. The people stalking the shelves with dirty hands touching all the boxes and cans of food, putting the stuff into dirty carts, then putting them onto filthy conveyor belts to then be handled by dirty hands from the cashier who's been handling money all day. It's taken all my will power someday's not to wipe down every purchased item from the store. Grace knows to just wash her change if she's going to play with it- "Don't worry Mom, I washed the money with soap."she says all the time.

It's everything. I hate airports and the putting my luggage on the belts. I hate knowing all the germs from people's suitcases are now touching mine, So i have to clean them every time. I don't want to travel because I know I will catch a diease or bring back some horrible germ I won't be able to get rid of. Trav has gone to movie theaters alone for years because I can't sit in the seats. They are filthy and I am convinced that every germ soaked into the fabric will attack me and I will be surrounded by bugs. I can't share water bottles either, or eat off of other peoples' forks. I hate keys and cell phones, checking out books from the library knowing so many people touched those pages before me. I hate computer keyboards, steering wheels & refrigerator handles. I wash Trav's gym bag and wipe down everything in it because I know those places are not clean. I hate public restrooms, I can't handle Chuck E Cheese or Pojo's, I want to vomit when we go to pot lucks because I don't know if those people washed their hands before preparing the food. I wear clothes once and make the kids change when they come home from school, so I can put them in the laundry. There is soap everywhere and hand sanitizer on the wall in my home, in the diaper bag, van and on my key chain. I take Lysol wipes to hotels and clean everything there- bathrooms, remotes, toilets. I bring my own pillows and it's the only time I keep my shoes on. I am horrified of them and hate it when we travel. When I have my babies in the hospital- I wipe everything down too. Hand rails, push buttons, toilets and chairs- it is all too much I can hardly stand it. For a long time I couldn't go anywhere, and then when all I was doing was cleaning for 8 hours a day- I had to get out of my house before I went insain there too. I have rarely felt at peace because my mind has not allowed me to calm down. I have been trying to fight a thousand unseen germs around me and then move onto a thousand more irrational thoughts in my mind.

What has become so unreal for me is that right now is... I can see these bugs. These ones are real. These ones have been crawling in my hair and drinking blood from my head and then laying eggs and I have not been ok. I have done 4 treatments on myself, worn a shower cap non stop (except for the unfortunate moments I have had to be around people), then covered my head with a pillowcase and then wrapped that in a shirt tied closed at the bottom. I have felt so dirty. So revolting and so humilatied I can hardly breathe.

I just broke down today and sobbed in the bathroom. I couldn't hold it in and so I just sat with the uncomfortable. I cried until there was nothing left and told God- I surrender. I can no longer control this. 106 loads has not made it go away. All the empty bottles has not made it stop and I give it to you. I just give it all to you."

I have worked so hard at controlling the only thing possible- my home.And it's been under attack and I haven't been able to save it. I haven't been able to clean it enough or well enough. It's become personal because I was so good at it before, but I can't seem to do enough, which in my mind says: I am not good enough. I have lost all control and my world has been in a state of panic, everything touched has had to be cleaned over and over and over. The paint is coming off the walls in places because I keep scrubbing. I can't do it and I am so angry. I am so mad that the only thing I had to control is not mine right now. Everything feels dirty- but I know it's the cleanest it's been in awhile. I want to throw everything away because I don't know where the bugs have been.

Who is going to want to be around me? Or come into my home? Or come to the girl's birthday parties? Or borrow anything of mine anymore? I wouldn't. I can hardly stand to be in this body right now and I feel so crazy I'm going to explode. It just won't stop. My mind just won't stop racing. I can't seem to catch my breath at moments and I just want to drop myself off somewhere and drive away. I cannot stand me, and I'm just so tired.

Today was about facing one of my greatest fears- realizing I am living it and surviving it. It has become so much bigger in my mind because it has tapped into every unhealthy behavior I have tried to stop, every tendancy, every urge I have had to push away, every ritual I have despised and everything I have been trying to kill for years. It has brought to the surface so much that I have tried to hide from my children, husband, family and friends. I've tried to act normal when I have been screaming at the top of my lungs and for some reason it just lingers. I don't ask for this. I don't want this part of my life. I know why my G-pa vacuumed so many times a day. I hate the footprints in the carpet too. I hate things out of place, I hate feeling crazy when the toys are out and the cans of food are not stacked straight with labels facing out.

I just want to feel peace... I hate surrendering, but I will...

100 load party...

2011-10-24T10:57:00.001-06:00

In honor of my 100th load of laundry approaching-I am planning a small party, which included's only myself. I've been planning for awhile now and after much debate with my Mother's idea's- I think I like mine a lot better.

Her idea's were: Eat deviled or scrambled eggs (Seriuosly Mom?)
or do the lice dance. That was it from my amazingly creative Mother.
My idea's are:
drown my sorrow's in a bag of Albertson's choc. chip & M&M cookies, while snarfing down a box of Old fashioned Glazed donuts and topping it off with a pint of Chubby Hubby! It sounds deleriously perfect! And I can't wait!!!

...so my challenge to you, in honor of the: Berthelson Head Lice Month, is: to do as much laundry as you possibly can for 1 day and then celebrate by consuming 50,000 calories in 1 sitting!

*** My sweet friend brought over a poster yesterday which included her deepest sympathy's involving candy bars. It was super cute Thanks Kara- it was honestly the best therapy ever!!!

Why Not???

2011-10-24T10:43:00.000-06:00

Let's add another family member to the mix of dreadfulness. That makes half the family now!
Seriously, I cannot do anything more. I have cleaned, washed, soaked, dried, frozen, disinfected, shampooed and sanitized EVERYTHING a thousand times!!! Why won't they leave???

I've used bottles of disinfecting wipes, 2 bottles of killing shampoo, a bottle of killing spray,a full can of Lysol spray, bars & containers of soap, boxes of dryer sheets, bottles of detergent, 2 spray bottles of tea tree oil spray, 97 loads of laundry and 16 just in the dryer- I've washed my hands so much that they are cracking and peeling, I've vacummed the van, shampooed the van, revacuumed the van, removed eggs for hours every day, cleaned the car seats,toys, coats, underwear, socks, toys, furniture pillows, bags, back packs, combs, hair bows, hair stuff,washed walls, washed hangers, washed the rods the clothes were hanging on, changed clothes 5 times a day, made everyone wear shower caps throughout the day & at night, plus put a pillow case over the shower cap to protect everything else... what else is a girl to do but cry???

Seriously, my morning routine consists of:
(Just for cleaning the beds)
remove pillow cases
remove sheets
remove blankets & comforters
vacuum pillows
vacuum mattress
change clothes
put clean pillow cases on
put clean sheets on
wash sheets & pillow cases
wash or dry blankets & comforters
(every other day I wash sheets
the other day I started just drying on high heat)
put clean pillow cases on
put clean sheets on
wait for blankets to be washed/ dry and replace
vacuum carpet.
Move to next rooms and repeat 4 times.

I'm so tired...

The 12 days of horror...

2011-10-18T17:55:00.000-06:00

Let's just say the past 12 days have been the most difficult of my parenthood journey, thus far. If you have been sparred from revolting and awful lice, thank the Lord right now and all the surrounding angels, because you are one blessed family!
The past 12 days have been filled with the most intense cleaning & disinfecting I have ever been apart of in my entire life, (Cleaning, scrubbing, vacumming, soaking, bleaching, spraying, shampooing & washing), hours and hours of discusting egg removal EACH DAY, and laundry like you would never imagine. Try 78 loads, my friends. I wish I was kidding- but I'm not. That's 78 washes AND 78 loads to fold, plus 5 on just high dry. That's how crazy it has been over here. And did I mention, another family member was blessed to get it as well??? Yeah, life has been a joy. I have had more panic attacks and out- of- my- mind experiences, to last a lifetime. Thanks Mom, G-ma & Angie for talking me through this- it's been so awful.

And did I mention I'm in charge of Super Saturday in 4 days? In the wee hours of morning and quiet hours of night, I have compliling, cutting, sorting and organizing 314 items & putting them into baggies with everyone's name on them. I am offically wiped out. I am offically crazy. And I am seriously contemplating running away for a month or two! I think I learned this year, if I am still in charge next year, to SIMPLIFY. The funny thing is- I did compared to last year! i just wanted all the ladies to have fun making all their cute crafts... I think there are about a million things wrong in my head.

My worst nightmare is happening!

2011-10-07T13:36:00.000-06:00

First, plese don't judge me, or look down on my family. I am humilated, embarressed and horrifed all at the same time.

Daisy has lice. I cannot believe it. My absoult worst nightmare on the planet is happening right now. I am dying. I am freaking out. I cannot believe it. I am sick to my stomach that we are now one of "those" families everyone will avoid for 30 years.I am so grossed out I could scream. The truth is we caught it super early (based on the horrifing online photos)
If you have the stomach to continue reading- here is the horrible story, events and facts...
Daisy told me a few days ago that her head was kind of itchy, i stopped dead in my tracks and said, "Hurry and get in the bathroom!!!"- I checked her out, but didn't see anything. I didn't worry because she said she only itched it once or twice and I hadn't seen her scratching at all.(Almost from conception, I have talked to the kids about lice (remember 2 years ago when Daisy was playing T-ball and the coach tried to put the helmet on her and she said, "No, I'll get head lice!" Well, that's how much I've talked about it with each of them.)

A few days ago I noticed a small rash at the bottom of her neck and told her we would put some creme on it before school. Later that evening she mentioned itching again, but only once at school. Determined to figure out what was going on, I took her in the bathroom and examined her head longer this time. i thought it was just the little rash she had- but I was now in "freak out mode" and had to get to the bottom of it.Her scalp looked totally clean, nothing was crawling- she looked fine, until I noticed a few tiny little white/clear specks about a inch from her scalp.
They were so small, but I ran to the computer and typed in every parents nightmare: What does head lice look like.
Oh.mi.gosh. I almost vomited right there over the key board. I read and read, and then I read about about the eggs. Sick to my stomach , I wondered if those little things could be the eggs- so I went back to the bathroom with a ziplock bag and extracted 4 strands from her head and closed the bag. I got her out of bed and raced to Walgreens at 9:40 PM to show the pharmasist. After they examined it they said, "I really don't think it is, it looks like dry scalp." They even looked at her head and the woman said that it would look like pepper on her head if she had it and she would be itching like mad. After a few more minutes of talking, we left and drove home.
I came home and told Trav but still felt really unsettled about it. I thought it was me just being extreme and over reacting, but something was really nagging at me. I was pretty much freaking out but tried to calm myself down. I told the Lord if it was nothing- then to calm me down and give me a peaceful feeling, if it was something- let me continue to majorly freak out. I put The Office in and finally fell asleep after midnight.
When I woke up at 4:45 the next morning, my brain was seriuosly crazy. I was panicked, and I couldn't calm down. That was my sign, thank you Lord. When Daisy woke up, I checked her again and found a few more little specks in her hair. I removed them and kept searching for a really long time, but didn't see anything alarming. Right after thinking that- I saw something move. I freaked out, but looked again. There on my precious daughter's head was a nasty tiny creature with super tiny legs- that were moving!!!. I grabbed a piece of scotch tape and put it on her head- the lice came off on it and then I taped it to a red post it note to take to the Doctor for examination.
After I found the 2nd one and got it out, I was almost in shock. HOW COULD THIS BE HAPPENING????
I searched longer, but saw nothing. Again, her scalp looked seriously clean. Even the silly Walgreens pharmist's looked and said, "no she doesn'tt have it."

I kind of went into shock mode and didn't know what to do next. I put her in the tub, checked all the other kids, looked online again as what to do, and just freaked out.
I ran to Walmart for the shampoo and had a little melt down with the pharmist there after she looked at the post it. I bought the stuff and grabbed new pillows for everyone and raced home. I called my Mom crying- who at first thought there was a death in the family or something. When I told her what was happening she said, "Oh my gosh, Em, I thought Travis lost his job or something- this is babyfood compared to that."
Thanks Mom. She let me have my freak out and told me what she did with us when we were little. She gave her sympathy and then we hung up. I called everyone who had been at Willow's party, friend's I had recently babysat for, neighbor kids who had been over, Trav's parents, the school & canceled several appointments for the week. I apoligized a million times for the discustingness of it all and they all reassured me, "Em, you couldn't have prevented this." I know, but dang it!!!!
Yeah it wasn't breast cancer, or a divorce, or a drug addiction like what was going on in the family- but THERE WERE NASTY BUGS CRAWLING IN MY HOUSE!!!
I treated all the kids, Daisy first, and after rinsing her hair- there were 8 to 10 bugs on the bottom of the bathtub. We combed her hair and one more came out. We were offically tramatized!
After rinsing the other kids, nothing was found. They looked good. After removing a few more eggs, i wrapped her head in a plastic bag and sat her down in one place of the house. i began removing everything from the house: clothes, bedding, pillow & started washing things immeditaly. i ran to the store for more shampoo, more Lysol wipes & even more disinfecting spray. When Trav came home, we vacuumed mattresses, sprayed matresses, moved all the furniture and cleaned & vacuumed around/under everything.
I sanitized every comb, toy, drawer, counter top, cabniet, closet floor, door knob, bag,computer keyboard, phone, remote- anything in sight! It was either wiped down or sprayed the living heck out of. We went to the laundry mat for a few hours and did 6 loads of blankets and comforters so we could sleep that night. We came home and put new sheets and pillows on the beds, washed hands, put dirty clothes in a bag, put a shower cap on Daisy (and then Tristin & Grace wanted one too, which I thought was a lovely idea, just incase.) The kids brushed teeth and then we prayed like you wouldn't believe.
I've never asked God to protect our home more than I did last night.
After the kids were asleep, I checked Trav, he checked me and then we treated each other. Nothing came out. I stayed in the bathroom for a long time scraping my scalp to see if anything was coming out- but when I looked down, I didn't see anything. I stayed over the tub, pulling on my hair forever- but nothing. Praise everything on the planet!! I put my hair in a bun, and then folded laundry for a hour- I actually slept really well last night, I was completely worn out.
Today, I am shampooing the couch & couch pillows, the carpet, the van and I'm on on load 17 of laundry so far.
We've changed clothes, washed hands, used towels only once- everything you can think of- I've done it. My hands are dry from bleach, but at least things are getting clean, right?? I am forever changed. i can never go back to "normal"Oh, wish me luck, and may your house & kids be sparred from this horrible nightmare.

Willow's Party...

2011-10-04T20:51:00.001-06:00

We finally had Willow's actual birthday party this evening. It was nice and small with only 15 people this time! We could actually see the kitchen floor, which was quite amazing!
We waited to celebrate because G-ma & Gpa B. went out of town for the weekend and today seemed to work out best.
I kept this party super simple with a potato & salad bar, cupcakes, cookies, Angie's peanut butter bars, veggies, strawberries & dip and water. the kids played, Willow changed into a swimsuit half way through the party and everything was lovely. Happy Birthday week Little Miss Muffet.

(Oh, and P.S, I didn't even do the girl's hair today- that's how cool I am! So here's to orphan pictures!)

2011-10-04T20:34:00.001-06:00

Trav's amazing spider web...

2011-10-04T08:53:00.000-06:00

A few years ago around this time, Trav asked for some rope or yarn to make a spider web outside. Shocked by his unusual request, I handed him a ball of red yarn and peeked out the window to watch him do his "craft project."
Much to my surprise- he constructed the coolest (8 foot in diameter) spider web.
My Mom and Brent saw it when they came to visit that year and they were both in awe of it's awesome-ness and couldn't stop talking about it.
He didn't make one last year, but yesterday when he came home after a long day at work- he once again asked for some yarn to make his web.
I skipped to my craft stash and grabbed my huge box of yarn so he could pick his own color this year. He choose grey and off he went with the kids to construct, once again, an amazing ginormous web outide our door.
I wish the picture was better- because it is honestly a work of art. All by himself he just figured out how to do it- and he didn't even look at a craft blog to get the idea like I often do! Way to go Mr Amazing!

The cheapest therapy...

2011-10-04T08:42:00.002-06:00

One day while Kara & I were canning, conversation turned to The Office. I told her I couldn't wait for Season 7 to come out because I was in desprete need of "new material."
She looked at me and said, "Em, it's out!"
"Shut up" I squealed. "I've been meaning to check online for the release date, I just never have!"
"Yeah, it's out, we just bought it (but then returned it because she has a way better consious than I do!)It was $ 39.99."
I ran to the computer, hopped on Ebay, found a new one for $ 24.24 which included shipping and bought it that second without hesitating, (and no, I didn't order it from China again, although I could have saved $ 4.00 by doing so- but the lingering smell of noodles that incased my boxed set was so unsettling to me last time I opted for the sold-in-the-USA version this round.)
I knew 24 bucks was a small price for the months of relief it was about to bring into my life (and I missed a Dr app and had the $)
It arrived a few days later and I'm on Round # 3 of watching the entire Season already. Yeah, I know I have issues & yeah I know there are 24 episodes plus bonus footage that I have induldged in for hours for the third time- but I simply adore it. When the day has been incredibly long, the kids especially difficult, when dinner hasn't turned out and the laundry seemed to explode throughout the day- I know that after the kids are asleep and my chores are done- I will have sweet, sweet relief when I see Dwight's handsome face staring back at me!

Bigger than the world...

2011-10-04T08:28:00.000-06:00

I had to write this one down quickly before I forgot it. Less than a hour ago I was taking a picture of Grace sleeping- you know, just one of those Mommy momments. She opened her eyes (probably due to the flash) and said, "Mommy, I love you."
I smiled and said, "I love you too Grace."
"Bigger than the world?" she asked.
"Yes, bigger than the world, twinkle toes." I replied.

"Bigger than the atonement," she asked.
"Just as much as the atonement." I answered with a smile on my face.

Afterwards I had one of those moments were I was completely overwhemled with gratitude for the gospel in my life. I am beyond grateful for the sacrafice Jesus Christ made for each one of us. He died because he loved us and because we were worth it.
There were several General Confrence talks that really sttod out this past weekend, and I walked away realizing that even if I don't believe it as much as I should- I am important. I am seen. I am loved. I am heard. I do matter. My life does count & I am a remarkable woman.
I am truely grateful for the atonement in my life and for the postive example of Christ's life we have to look to. I am grateful that we are teaching our children what we belive to be true. In a world were so many people do not believe in God or his son, I am so thankful I have the knowledge and testimony that they are very real and very much apart of my life.

Happy Birthday Sweet girl...

2011-10-01T20:42:00.000-06:00

I can't even tell you how much I love this girl! It is so much fun watching her turn into a little person. She loves:
sugar
kitties
doggies
chicken noodle soup
baths
baby dolls
bubbles
being wrapped like a burrito at bed time
putting clothes on
going for walks
pinecones, bugs and rocks
playing at the park
getting potty treats

2011-10-01T20:29:00.001-06:00

2011-10-01T20:20:00.001-06:00

2011-10-01T20:14:00.001-06:00

What were you doing 2 years ago?

2011-10-01T20:10:00.001-06:00

This is what we were doing!! Welcoming Little Miss Willow into the world! Here's a peek back...

Willow's silly cake...

2011-10-01T20:06:00.000-06:00

Call me cheap, but I refuse to spend $ 20.00 on a cake. I always make cupcakes, but today after General Conference, we decided to make one for little Miss Muffet. Trav had to leave for the Priesthood session, so we have yet to eat it or sing happy Birthday to Willow- but tomorrow is another day, right? And thank goodness because today has been one of those days I seriously contemplated running away for a month by myself!
Happy Birthday Willow!

Canning is complete...

2011-10-01T20:02:00.000-06:00

Canning was done a little bit ago, but I still had a few apples and peaches lingering around and because didn't want them to go to waste- I canned 7 more quarts of applesauce and sliced & froze bags of peaches. I think I am offically done, it's always so bitter sweet. I look forward to it all year, it comes, it's fun and wild and crazy and exhausting and messy and wonderful and time consuming yet so worth it. It's amazing how much your feet can ache too!

Guess who's 2...

2011-10-01T18:24:00.000-06:00

Somehow our baby girl grew up. It's crazy to think it was 2 years ago already!

2011-10-01T18:08:00.001-06:00

Discovery Center...

2011-10-01T18:03:00.000-06:00

After confrences & my chiropractor app on thursday, I took the kids to the Science Center and they LOVED IT! They earned passes from their Summer reading program and i got in free too, so it was a great activity that didn't cost a cent. It was great to watch Tristin- it was totally up his alley- and I couldn't keep Willow out of the giant bubble making station. it was a fun afternoon but I was tired when we were done. Just trying to keep track of everyone was exhausting!

Parent Teacher Confrences...

2011-10-01T17:54:00.000-06:00

On Thursday I had back to back confrences at the kids school. After arriving on time, I sat outside the door to Tristin's class and listened to a mother talk for 15 minutes about everything under the sun. She litterally did not take a breath and I learned all about her entire family while I impatiently watched the clock tick away. I stood up again and made myself seen after 15 of my 20 minutes were taken by " Miss talk alot" and I finally got in. I found out Tristin is doing super and is ahead in everything. He's in accelerated reading and doing great in everything else. It was great to hear!
Daisy's teacher could not stop talking about how amazing she is. He went on forever and it was darling. He said she's way ahead in her class, she often helps the other kids with their work, she's really sweet, helpful, kind, follows directions, completes her work, won the Gator award the 2nd week of school and is a pleasure to have in class. He said over and over he wished there were more students like her!
So, the kids are doing great! And I love it.

A wonderful evening...

2011-09-25T08:46:00.000-06:00

Last night I went to the General Relief Society Broadcast and it was wonderful! Don't you love it when all the talks are especially for you and it seems Heavenly Father knew just what you needed? In my notes I wrote down a few things that jumped out to me, or things that I knew I needed to work on.

Julie B Beck:

* Increase my faith
*Be faithful
*Choose the better part
*Be deeply committed
*Help those in need
*Value the temple
*Protect the home
*Sincerely care
*"It is our caring that counts"
*Strive with faith
*"It is for you to lead the world"
*Serve in unity

Sister Allred

*Enlarge your soul
*Let your heart expand
*Charity never failth
*Pray for the desire to have charity
*Charity is the pure love of Christ
*Feed my sheep
*Embody charity
*do your VT

Sister Thompson

*Stay close to Heavenly Father
*Remember the Savior
*Cleve to your covenants
*Joy & protection will come
*We will be free of sin
*He makes all things well
*Have faith in Christ
*After I die- will their be eveidence of my covenants?
*Greatly rejoice

Elder Uchtdorf
"Forget me not oh, Lord"
1. Be patient with yourself.
-Stop comparing your weakness's to other's strengths
- No one is perfect
-God is fully aware
-Stop punishing yourself
-God notices

2. Good sacrafices/ Foolish sacrafices
- Do what matters most
-Am I committing my time and energy to what matters most?

3. Be happy now.
-Stop searching for your golden ticket
-Do not put your happiness on hold
-There is nothing wrong with righteous desires
-Never stop striving for the best
-Enjoy the everyday moments

4. The 'Why" of the gospel
-sometimes we forget why
-Seek out the joy of the "why"

5. The lord loves you.
(I was balling during this part!)

-I was never forgotten
-I am his child
-He knows me

After the confrence was over, I just sat ther with my friends, Kara & Kristen, talking, crying and resolving to to better. The messages were powerful and I walked away realizing I need to be a better Mother. I need to talk kindly. I need to embrace the everyday moments more. I need to love myself more and remember that the Lord knows me, sees me and truely loves me. some of the struggles I've been facing were answered. Some of my pain was addressed. And what I forget the most was gently and kindly whispered into my heart- mostly that I have never been forgotten.
thank you Lord for an amazing night...

What are you doing at 5:30 AM?

2011-09-24T07:03:00.000-06:00

Apparently I am making apple butter, pumpkin bars, doing laundry, organizing the pantry and planning a birthday party!
Trav's 4:45 AM schedule has taken a tole on my sleep, because evidently on Saturday, when I should be sleeping- I am not. I think I would give a body part to get a goodnight's rest! Seriously. These days I average 5 hours a night,which is pretty decent, but I toss and turn and wake up so much that I think that # goes way down. I just want to wake up ready to face the day- but I am so darn tired all the time.
I've always been this way though. Even in Junior high & high school. Even before I became a Mom and even before I became crazy in the head and worried about everything. Is there a cronic fatigue syndrome that I signed up for while in the womb? Or do I get it from my dear sweet Mother who was always up at 5:00 (if not earlier) doing laundry, getting ready, putting rollers in her hair, reading or cleaning?
One of these days I'll feel rested, right???

Pears...

2011-09-24T06:48:00.000-06:00

I finished up my pears yesterday was was happy to get 21 jars this year. When I told Trav I wasn't going crazy this year with canning, he said, "you could have fooled me."
Really I'm not. I've done enough to make myself feel good about it, but not enough to completely wear myself out.

Applesauce...

2011-09-23T13:52:00.000-06:00

Yesterday Kara & I had another fun day of making applesauce! We were able to can 39 pints and quarts! After she left, Trav helped me get 7 quarts of pears done too. We are happy with what we were able to get done considering we started late in the day, had kids running around, had to run to the store for a propane refill and a few other interruptions!

I am really tired today after a morning of errands, a trip into Boise for my 3rd chirpractor app of the week, a library stop and a few other things. I need to finish my pears- but I'm taking a hour break while Willow is napping and Grace is happily watching a movie. Oh, sweet rest, how I need you...

Little Miss Willow...

2011-09-22T09:29:00.000-06:00

I cannot believe she is turning 2 next week! How in the world did my baby grow up? I just found this picture and thought I'd post it! I need to plan a party one of these days too!

Canning...

2011-09-22T09:14:00.001-06:00

The other night we went and picked raspberries at Tammy's house (thank you!)it was kind of neat because some of her bushes/starts had come from Trav's parents years ago. I was excited to make some more jam!
We to the orchard again yesterday to get some more apples and we were thrilled to find more peaches as well!
Yesterday Kara & I canned 43 jars of applesauce. We will can the rest later today.
After she left, I made 14 pints of raspberry peach jam, 5 raspberry-peach freezer jam & 5 peach frezzer jam's! There's nothing like making jam at almost midnight (I was interuppted a 100 times because Trav was working on his 2nd security clearance for work and needed massive info that I had to search old journals for!)
Finally at 1:00 AM we fell asleep. My feet ached. Naturally Grace woke up twice and sure enough the alarm went off shortly after at 4:45 AM. Oh, the long days of canning! Gotta love it.

Grace's silly faces...

2011-09-20T18:18:00.000-06:00

Grace is always taking crazy pictures of herself- here's her latest...

Canning Update...

2011-09-20T18:07:00.004-06:00

Yesterday sweet Kara came over and we canned peaches together for a few hours. I had done 14 quarts before she arrived and then we did 29 while she was here. Can I just say how much "funner" canning is with a friend! It's wonderful.
Today sweet Angie came over and we did 14 quarts for Annikan who's still in the hospital after having baby # 4. She had a c- section and there was no way she was going to get to them after that and I couldn't bare the thought of her not having any or the peaches rotting- so we spent a few hours this afternoon doing hers. After Angie left I made a bunch of strawberry-pineaple- peach jam! I made 16 pints and I am thrilled to have yummy jam this year! ( and for gifts too!)

***Offical 2011 count***

Peaches= 78 quarts
Jam= 61 pints
Freezer Jam= 19 containers
Applesauce= 82 pints & quarts
Pears= 21 quarts

Grand Total= 261 pints, quarts or frozen.
My total= 172

The Peacock park...

2011-09-17T20:12:00.000-06:00

A few weekends ago, we took the kids to the "peacock park' and had a picnic by the river. The kids had peacocks eating out of their hands! Crazy. it was a beautiful hot day and the kids had a blast riding their bikes everywhere. It was a lovely day.

The orchard...

2011-09-17T15:07:00.002-06:00

Who has the greatest husband in the world? I do! I do!

2011-09-17T15:01:00.000-06:00

Honestly, does anyone have a husband that helps during canning season? Trav is amazing. He helped me get a few quarts done today which i am SO thankful for!
We went to the orchard a few nights ago to help pick peaches. I almost didn't go because I wasn't feeling well, but I drugged up and went, which I'm thankful for. We were able to pick peaches for free! We grabbed a bunch that night and then the next day Shelly, Angie & I went out and picked A TON of fruit! I came home with 4 recycling bins full of peaches, a huge bag of apples and 2 1/2 buckets full of pears. We had fun!!
The kids and I have made a TON of peach deliveries to friends and family the past few days!
It's been fun making jam too. I made 20 pints yesterday. 16 cooked and 4 freezer jam.

Sore, but feeling better...

2011-09-17T14:47:00.001-06:00

I am really thankful to report my jaw is a lot better. Although still sore and really achy- it feels a million times better than it did before. Almost a month later, a 100 ct bottle of Advil and a ton of ice packs seemed to help, I think! I'll be glad when it is completely gone because it is still really uncomfortable- but I'm relieved the stabbing, painful pressure has subsided.

I've been to the chiroprator 4 times this week and they worked on it a little (Who knows if it did anything) but I am grateful to FINALLY be going because my head, neck & back have been messed up- FOREVER! One chirpractor I saw years ago asked when I had been in a accident, and I replied, "Never."
I did discover this week that my spine is seriously messed up, my neck is a joke and my back is super sad as well. My head is literraly not on right, my neck has no natural curve to it- it's completely straight, 1 rib is out of place, my vertebre are crazy, 1 leg is longer than the other and in some places my neck and back and are out so much that the other side is straining 6 times more than it should. Well,NO WONDER everything hurts! No wonder I've had horrible headaches for 21 years! It helps when your head is on right for goodness sakes!

The Dr. thinks after a zillion adjustments, I should feel 50% better. I was shocked. I was just praying for 1% improvement! It's crazy what we live with most of our lives and what we allow to become "our normal." I'm trying to take care of myself these days instead of stressing about every cent it will cost. The truth is I want to be around a long time, so I better start taking care of things, right?
Thanks for caring, and thanks christy for the referral! They are truely the greatest!

Still Here...

2011-09-12T13:15:00.000-06:00

It started close to 3 weeks ago, the pain in my jaw. Before my G-ma came out we were both complaining about our aches and pains. At the time my ear was bothering more than normal and she gave me a few tricks of hers. I started having jaw pain right after that and assummed I had been grinding my teeth at night more than normal. There was a week of mild jaw pain and I kept rubbing them thinking, "what the heck am I doing at night?"
But then the pain became a million times worse and I litterally couldn't handle it anymore. Not only was my jaw in MAJOR pain, but the back of my head and neck, even my arms felt really heavy & weak. Poor Trav had been rubbing my head & jaw for a week and 1/2 and I was consuming more Advil than anyone should admit to- but nothing was helping. I missed church last week and finally couldn't take it anymore- I thought possibly I had an ear infection because the preassure under my ear was out of control and I thought that antibiotics would be the cure- so I went into Primary Health (my home away from home!) to get checked out. After he looked me over he said, I don't see anything wrong with your ears. He suggjested the dentist next. I thanked him and drove home in tears. I just wanted drugs to make the horrible pain stop!!
I made an appointment for the dentist and went in a few days later and learned it wasn't my teeth eaither. Really? I asked. "I don't need a root canal or anything? And he said, "no- they look fine." I told him I'd pay him a million dollars if he'd figure it out but he referred me to a specialist instead. Again, I drove home in even more pain from having to have my mouth open FOREVER at the dentist!
I called the Craniofacial Pain Center as soon as I got home and the next available appointment wasn't until Sept 19th. I made the appoint,ment and begged her to call me if there was a cancellation. I just cried. Someone make this horrible pain stop!
I had a blessing, I finished the huge bottle of Advil and have been in bed every moment I haven't had to get up for something, I've used ice packs for weeks and alternated heating packs too.I'm on my 5th book- which is incredible, but it's been awful. I thought it couldn't get worse until I realized the pain was also spreading to my left side. I couldn't believe it. Seroiusly, just cut my head off! So many of my problems would be solved if it were no longer attatched!
It's been days later now and the pain has now shifted to my lower jaw, near my cheecks and not as much under my ear like it was.
I'm just whinning, but if anyone has had anything like this- I'll pay you a trillion dollars to help make this go away!!

Annikan's Shower...

2011-09-02T12:50:00.000-06:00

Last night we had Annikan's baby shower and it was a lot of fun. She recieved tons of super cute things, which is great, because after having 3 girls in a row and now expecting a boy in 2 weeks, she needed it!
Lara graciously let us have it at her house and we all worked together to get things planned. The food was yummy, the treats were great and it was nice to see everyone come out and celebrate her pregnancy. I'm thrilled for her to finally have her little guy. Good luck my dear- you will do great, how ever it turns out!

Annikan's Shower...

2011-09-02T12:40:00.000-06:00

Yard Sale Treasures...

2011-09-02T12:24:00.003-06:00

Last week my awesome yard sale find was the super cool traffic light whitch really works! Only .75 too! It goes with all my signs- love it!

This morning I found a full pack of Pull Ups for $3.00 and 5 pair of training pants! Love it!!!

A few treasures...

2011-08-31T09:32:00.000-06:00

My Mom & step Dad recently bought a new house which was MUCH, MUCH smaller than their last, so Mom had to get rid of 3/4 of everything she owned. She asked me if I wanted her hope chest and I repled, "are you kidding me! Of course I do!" She's had it for over 25 years, so my whole life I've seen it, opened it up to get wrapping paper etc... how could I NOT want it?
I was so thankful when it fit in G-ma's SUV too! thank you a 1000 times Mama, I love it!

And then G-ma gave me a VERY OLD dish that was my Great, Great Grandmother's. What do you say to a gift like that? How special. How thoughtful. How meaningful. I wonder what she kept in it. I wonder what her daughter kept in it. What about my Grandma? And now me? (I can promise it will be kept WAY up high for a few years!)
It was so sweet of her. Thank you to my sweet ancestors for passing it down. It is a treasure.

Another WONDERFUL visit with Grammy & G-pa!!!

2011-08-31T09:22:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure what has gotten into my Grandparents the past few months, but they've come to visit us twice in the past 3 months!! i'm not complaining, believe me. My entire world rises and sets around these two people. I simply adore our time with them. There is nothing more precious than sitting on a hotel room bed with them, talking forever about funny memoreies and listening to my G-pa sing. I seriously had to try not to cry, but he melts my heart when he sings. My earliest memories are waking up in their home to the vacuum and him singing at the same time, It's a sound that makes my entire being swell with love.

We had a great time while they were here. G-ma cooked up a storm every night, making ribs the first and salmon the second night. We went shopping, to the bank, played Sorry & yahtzee, G-ma permed my hair, the big kids went to school, Trav & G-pa went golfing, we talked, we laughed, made butter (kind of), went through about a 100 craft supplies G-ma & and Mom brought down to me and had a wonderful time.

it was simply Heaven having them here and I know the sacrafice they made to get here. It's been more difficult lately to watch my G-pa get older. He's slowing down a little and everything makes him really tired these days. He had to lay down a few times and take a nap. I couldn't help but watch him as he had done a million times with me when I was little. There is so much love and I want them both here forever. I am so thankful for every second with them. They are my world.

Ribs!!!

2011-08-31T09:08:00.000-06:00

G-ma knows how much the kids adore ribs, so she brought them again this time. I think Grace ate about 7 of them the first night!

Going to the Bank...

2011-08-31T09:01:00.000-06:00

My Grandparents began talking to us about saving money while we were in the womb, I think, but honestly, it's one of the greatest lessons of all. They have encouraged us from the time we were small, taking us to the bank and watching us deposit $. When they were here in June, G-ma opened a savings account, and the kids have been back several times since then, depositing a dollar here, three dollars there and watching it grow. We took Grace and Willow yesterday to put a few dollars in!

Perms & Games...

2011-08-31T08:53:00.000-06:00

***Yes, I already know that my face has been really oily lately & I seem to be wearing the same shirt in the last 100 posts!***

G-ma helped me perm my hair yesterday! It is SOOOOO much easier when someone does the silution vs. me doing it with my eyes closed, face in a towel and hanging over the bathroom tub! Thanks G-ma!!!

It was pretty cute to watch Daisy play Sorry with G-ma & G-pa, they had no mercy either!!!

Making Butter...

2011-08-31T08:44:00.000-06:00

Last time G-ma & G-pa were here, we didn't have time to make our butter- so G-ma brought her stuff and we shook the jars forever! Actually, a little too much because it diodn't turn out like normal!

Saying Goodbye...

2011-08-31T08:39:00.000-06:00

When did she grow up???

2011-08-25T18:44:00.000-06:00

I look at Willow and I wonder- when on earth did she grow up? And where was I?

My Slipper situation...

2011-08-25T18:40:00.000-06:00

I think I know what is going on with my slippers...
I wash them A TON and I think between the washer & dryer, they are falling apart. How sad! Is there really harm in washing something too much? I think so...

Eating Carrots...

2011-08-22T13:06:00.000-06:00

Our little garden has produced a few items this year, but because I'm not a gardner, and have no clue what i'm doing- it hasn't done much this year. Things are growing, don't get me wrong, it's just not one of those gardens you pass and say "Wow, how beautiful>" We have had: Several tomatoes, a few beans, little carrots, lettuce and a few other things on the way. Here are the girls eating thier tiny carrots.

First day of school...

2011-08-22T10:18:00.001-06:00

Today was the kids first day of school and I had mixed feelings as we walked them there, watched for a few minutes and then turned to walk home. I think it hit me more with Daisy because this is the first year she will be gone all day, every day. With Tristin, I've had a few years with him gone, but I haven't with Daisy, so we will see how everyone adjusts. They are definatly growing up and becoming their own little people, it's just SO strange. It's crazy to give birth, breastfeed, potty train, watch them grow, learn to talk, rock them to sleep, love them to pieces and then send them off to school. It goes so fast!
When we came home, Grace and I did her school work for a hour and it was nice & quiet! It will be great as we settle into a school routine and I am really excited for them to meet new friends and stretch their brains. I love my little turkeys...

2011-08-22T10:10:00.000-06:00

As we were getting back from church yesterday, we saw a ton of smoke not far from Elle's house. It was crazy to watch it burning so close. I need to find out what fire it was and make sure it's under control now.

Samuel has grown SOOO much in 4 months. it is wild to think he was 3 pounds when he was born! it's great to see him fattening up and looking so healthy now.

Visiting the cousins in Oakley...

2011-08-22T10:03:00.000-06:00

Over the weekend we went to Oakley to visit the cousins and be there for baby Samuel's baby blessing. It was nice, the kids had a blast playing and it was fun to see Ellen's new house. It was a mini trip for us, and we got home in time to get the kids to bed and ready for school in the morning.

My very sweet husband...

2011-08-22T09:55:00.000-06:00

Last week after a crazy few days, I came home to find these beauties waiting for me. It was so sweet of Trav. He is truely one of the best guys out there. I love him with all my heart and I am beyond blessed to have him forever!